Indie rock newcomer Mila Degray talks to Atwood Magazine about coming of age in New York City, her upcoming debut album ‘Silver Meteor 98’, what she learned on the set of Charli XCX’s “Guess” remix music video, and embracing her “Masculine Charm.”
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“I was an insane 18-year-old,” Mila Degray, now 20, tells Atwood Magazine.
“I wasn’t afraid of anything. I’d be walking around at 2 AM in the sketchiest areas, falling asleep on the subway after a night out, meeting random people…”
Degray talks about her former self like she’s leafing through an old scrapbook or looking through a window into a past life. Yet it’s been only two years since the Broward County, Florida native first moved to the Big Apple as a doe-eyed teenager; only two years since she was “running around New York thinking everything was romantic.”
The Colombian artist and actress has a much different perspective now. “I’ve changed so much that I can’t even imagine doing half the things I did back then,” she admits.
“That girl just feels so foreign to me.”
It’s remarkable to think just how much we can grow up in such a short period of time; the transition from childhood into young adulthood is always intense, and from the way she talks, one might think Degray learned a decade’s worth of life lessons in two short, turbulent years. It’s likely she did; live in New York City long enough, and you inevitably develop some edge, build your own emotional walls, and do what you must to survive.
Mila Degray isn’t just surviving; these days, she’s thriving. There’s a healthy dose of bittersweetness and angst around her recent coming-of-age, but there’s plenty of raw energy and infectious excitement there as well – and she’s channeled all these feelings, experiences, and more into her upcoming debut album, Silver Meteor 98 (releasing this fall via Velvet Jane Records).
“It’s the name of the train I took from Miami to New York because I had a crippling fear of flying,” Degray say of the record’s title. “I’ve literally run away from the airport twice, but taking that train was the beginning of a lot of things for me, like my independence of living alone in a city so far from (and bigger than) Florida.”
Amtrak advertises its Silver Meteor route, established in 1939, as a (relatively) fast and historic link between New York City and Miami; travel time between the two cities generally averages 28 hours by train.
The Silver Meteor shuttled Degray into a bold new chapter of her life, acting as her first major steppingstone into adulthood’s bigger shoes.
Fittingly, the songs on Silver Meteor 98 act as a rough highlight reel for what happened next. Taking cues from indie and alternative rock, pop punk and the more recently coined ‘bubblegrunge’ sound, her first two singles off the album, “Adore Her More” and “Masculine Charm” (both out now), are unfiltered and deeply vulnerable reflections not just of who she was when she first arrived in the city, but also of who she’s become – or rather, who she’s still becoming. Musically and lyrically unapologetic, they carry with them the weight and ache of the past two highly consequential years – which, for Degray, were filled with new relationships, emotional turmoil, inner reckoning, and a near-endless stream of soul-searching.
In her candid, confessional songwriting, Degray finds empowerment, catharsis, and inner strength.
A fragile diary entry turned fever dream, “Adore Her More” focuses on a painful, toxic relationship in which she found herself constantly being compared to a guy’s ex and ended up isolated from her friends. “Drunk on your floor, my body’s sore, I’m unsupported and extorted, you adore her more,” she sings in the track’s heated breakdown, leading into an impassioned and emotive chorus: “I lost my friends and dignity, don’t know what happened to me. All I care is do you still think I’m pretty, pretty enough?”
Degray’s latest single, “Masculine Charm,” is inspired by the same ‘situationship’ and contains similar references to that “lookalike” ex (“talk about her all the time, but my friends noticed we got the same face, don’t you lie, I’m blonde, but I guess you got a type”). Degray describes the song as a time capsule of her naivety, and from the track’s soft and tender beginnings to its louder, brasher end, she conveys her own lost innocence, as well as the anger (and other lingering feelings) she harbors toward this person who wooed her, manipulated her, and made her feel so infinitesimally small.
“It’s about an experience I had with an older famous singer when I was 18 in a nice NYC hotel,” she explains. “He said I had ‘masculine charm… I loved that compliment, and I still do – I looked up to my dad a lot growing up and tapping into that masculine part of myself helps me overcome many things in my life.”
“As for the experience, it was just really traumatic looking back.”
spending my nights in hotel rooms
it’s what I’ve always wanted
cigarettes are the fragrance of my hair
and the masculine charm,
said I wanna be cool
you said I’m special you know it
but I don’t fall for it
you’re cool and I like
when you start talking
tell me a story about your life
’cause you’d never bore me
but i’m getting boring
How better to process our traumas, than to put them in song? “Masculine Charm” is, in a sense, Degray’s reclamation of herself, of her body, and of her story.
Her lyrics sting (“Say you want me but now you never call me, they tried to warn me, drunk waiting in your lobby, agreed to be discreet in a hotel room, hidden under the sheets of a honeymoon…”), but the artist also extracts power from their truth, singing these words with the cool confidence of someone who has, in fact, grown up, learned from her past, and is ready to move on to her next chapter – so long as she gets one last word in edgewise.
“Masculine Charm” is closure manifest through a sonically and emotionally charged indie/alt rock lens – and a fantastically intimate introduction to Mila Degray’s burgeoning artistry.
“I had to get those stories out there into the world,” she says of her recent songs. “Going through it had a part in changing my life and who I am as a person.”
heard from a friend
that you’re kissing your ex again
let’s play pretend, let’s just say
that i could care less
’cause you never ever really
got over your first love,
’cause you never ever even tried
talk about her all the time
but my friends noticed
we got the same face, don’t you lie
i’m blonde but i guess you got a type
As a fun fact, Degray’s nascent acting career has landed her a role in A24’s MaXXXine feature film, Re6ce’s “is suicide too much?” music video, and most recently, a notable spot in Charli XCX and Billie Eilish’s “Guess” remix music video.
“In all honesty I thought [it] was a scam at first,” she laughs, adding how that experience taught her to worry less and trust her gut more – a true brat lesson, if ever there was one. “That was really freeing, and I took that advice with me to my day-to-day life.”
Atwood Magazine recently caught up with Degray for an in-depth introductory conversation about her new songs and her upcoming debut album. Get to know this exhilarating, brutally honest artist-to-watch in our interview below as she talks about music, her bold and brash teenage years, and what’s to come for Mila Degray.
“All I can really say is pay attention to the lyrics – everything is intentional, and if you want to know about my life, really open your ears.”
say you want me but now you never call me
they tried to warn me, drunk waiting in your lobby
agreed to be discreet in a hotel room
hidden under the sheets of a honeymoon
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:: stream/purchase Masculine Charm here ::
:: connect with Mila Degray here ::
Stream: “Masculine Charm” – Mila Degray
A CONVERSATION WITH MILA DEGRAY
Atwood Magazine: Great to meet you, Mila! For those just discovering you for the first time, who is Mila Degray? What do you want people to know about your music, right off the bat?
Mila Degray: Mila Degray, not “Degrey” or “De Gray” or “DeGray,” is a way too honest alter ego that makes incredibly direct sonic letters to people or situations told not hidden under many metaphors, usually revolving around a bubblegum grunge kind of instrumentation and muddy guitar chord progressions.
You recently returned after a two-year hiatus with “Adore Her More.” What’s the story behind this song, and why did you choose to release this as the first single off your new record (and your first song back in over a year)?
Mila Degray: The second I wrote it, I wanted it out into the world, so I think the minute it was fully produced and ready to be listened to, I was eager for it to be played as soon as it could be. I think it’s an incredibly beautiful song that could help a lot of people.
“I lost my friends and dignity / Don’t know what happened to me / All I care is, do you still think I’m pretty, pretty enough?” you sing in the chorus. It’s an incredibly vulnerable moment of truth that sets the tone, I think, for the rest of the song. What do these lines mean to you? What’s their significance?
Mila Degray: When I wrote that line I was 18, living in New York for about three months, but only a few weeks in my new apartment – finally solo with roommates I had just met recently. New Years came around and I met this guy at one of those NYE parties and I had so much admiration for him that I stopped talking to my friends, isolated myself and only cared about him, that in the end I stopped feeling pretty around this dude because he was still in love with his ex who was a model that – unironically – I got compared to (masculine charm reference, same dude). Those lines are just an example of the directness I have in my songs.
You’ve now followed that with “Masculine Charm,” a song filled with intimacy and passionate, raw fervor. What is this song, for you?
Mila Degray: A time capsule of my naivety running around New York thinking everything was romantic. It’s cute listening back to it but also kind of eerie since after I wrote it, life went on a gradual downward spiral. Feels like a lost tape which inspired the found footage feel of the music video, too. That girl just feels so foreign to me.
You’ve talked about “Masculine Charm” being inspired by an older, famous singer saying you had “masculine charm.” What does that mean, to you? Why has this experience stuck with you?
Mila Degray: I mean I loved that compliment and I still do, I looked up to my dad a lot growing up and tapping into that masculine part of myself helps me overcome many things in my life. As for the experience, it was just really traumatic looking back. It was so stupid and I’ve changed so much that I can’t even imagine doing half the things I did back then, but in retrospect they had to happen for a reason, like I believe most things do.
Sonically, what was your vision going into this song, and how did you go about bringing that to life with Richard Orofino?
Mila Degray: Well, Harry Teardrop made the first demo with me back in Jan of 2023. We laid out basic guitar, drums, bass, lead parts, and the structure with how I had written it on guitar. We never finished it because life got in the way so i had to take that song to different producers, but none could really capture its essence and feeling I had when I first made it. Richard came out of nowhere. I found him through his band Sex Week after my manager sent me one of their songs and I knew I had to at least try out a session with him and I’m so happy I did.
Do you have any favorite lines from this song?
Mila Degray: The entire chorus, but specifically, “agreed to be discreet in a hotel room, hidden under the sheets of a honeymoon.”
These are the first two singles off your upcoming debut album, Silver Meteor 98. How do these songs set the scene for what’s to come?
Mila Degray: They honestly just made the most sense, I had to get those stories out there into the world. Going through it had a part in changing my life and who I am as a person. I think it really sets the tone for the entire album and the theme of me just growing up. All of my teenage years live in these songs as I’m 20 now.
What most excites you about releasing your first full-length record; can you share a bit about the album as a whole?
Mila Degray: The fact that I finally have a tangible collection of these songs I’ve had somewhat hidden for literal years because I never felt like it was the right time to release them (which was a huge mistake on my end). Get to be out there after back-and-forths and perfecting. It’s gonna feel so rewarding and euphoric to say I have an album.
What is the significance of the name ‘Silver Meteor 98,’ and how (if at all) do you feel that name captures the spirit of its songs?
Mila Degray: It’s the name of the train I took from Miami to New York because I had a crippling fear of flying. I’ve literally run away from the airport twice but taking that train was the beginning of a lot of things for me like my independence of living alone in a city so far from (and bigger than) Florida. I was an insane 18-year-old, I wasn’t afraid of anything. I’d be walking around at 2 AM in the sketchiest areas, falling asleep on the subway after a night out, meeting random people. I definitely had balls.
In the spirit of teasing listeners, what else can fans look forward to off the new album? Anything we can share to start getting folks amped up and excited?
Mila Degray: All I can really say is pay attention to the lyrics, everything is intentional and if you want to know about my life, really open your ears.
I’d be remiss to not talk about your cameo in the new “Guess” remix video! What was that experience like for you, and how did it play out?
Mila Degray: I just got back from NY a week before I got this random DM from a casting person, which in all honesty I thought was a scam at first, but then I replied and he said it was for Charli XCX, and even though I was afraid of flying, had to be up the next day at 6 AM across the country, and had five hours’ notice to book a flight, I did it!
Was this your first time in a music video that wasn’t your own? Did your experience on set for Charli inform anything about how you might approach your own visuals in the future?
Mila Degray: I was in re6ces’ “is suicide too much?” video and a few other productions like A24, and a short film that I starred in, but not really many music videos. The Charli video was eye opening in seeing what goes into being a global sensation and the team it takes to get all of it together. I’m really closed off when it comes to dancing – I remember being in the corner during her video trying to hide because I didn’t know how to be so open with my body like that – but it inspired me to not really give a f*k. One of the girls who was twerking was talking to me before one of my shots and told me to not care. That was really freeing, and I took that advice with me to my day-to-day life.
Bringing it back to “Masculine Charm” as we close, what do you love most about this new song, and what do you hope listeners take away from it?
Mila Degray: The intro was an audio file I took from a video of me playing it on the guitar after finishing the verse lyrics, and I really can’t recreate those emotions I had in my voice.
In the spirit of paying it forward, who are you listening to these days that you would recommend to our readers?
Mila Degray: A lot of The Marías – specifically their new album Submarine – 2hollis, and Gigi Perez.
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:: stream/purchase Masculine Charm here ::
:: connect with Mila Degray here ::
Stream: “Masculine Charm” – Mila Degray
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