Achingly intimate, tender, and raw, London singer/songwriter Bertie Newman’s “Wasted on Me” is a beautiful indie folk song reckoning with worry and woe.
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Stream: “Wasted on Me” – Bertie Newman
Worry is the true enemy of happiness.
Hardship and loss may take away from life’s good times, but worry can make authentic joy feel as fleeting as a rainbow. It can eat away at every moment, whether we’re lost in thoughts of doom and gloom, or have “an overthinking, self-destructive head” like Bertie Newman, who opens up about his ever-anxious mind on his latest single. Achingly intimate, tender, and raw, “Wasted on Me” is a beautiful reckoning with worry and woe: A gentle, dreamy indie folk pop song full of heart and depth.
It’s the workings of a soul exposed.
I’m falling in the morning
When I’m with you
And I wish I really deserve you
But I don’t
I know it’s golden
And we’re healing
Like we want to
Got an overthinking
Self destructive head
Independently released March 10, 2023, “Wasted on Me” is Bertie Newman’s second song of the year, and his fifth overall career single since debuting with “Lost” – another gut-wrenching, heart-on-sleeve serenade – back in 2021. Born and raised in Hackney, London, the 22-year-old has quickly established himself as an up-and-coming singer/songwriter with a heart, and a voice, of gold.
Following mid-January’s “I Will,” “Wasted on Me” is unfiltered and uncompromising: An up-close, in-depth self-reflection that feels equally like a confrontation and a confessional, finding Newman dwelling in the demons living rent-free in his head.
“‘Wasted On Me’ explores the battle between really loving the person you’re with and the feeling of just not being enough at the same time,” Newman tells Atwood Magazine. “When I wrote this song I wanted to find a way to say that I felt like I wasn’t up for the job but also one which felt more philosophical to put it like that, so I though up the lyric “wasted on me.” This, I think, highlights how I was almost in a place of peace with the fact that I wasn’t good enough and was wondering if my partner thought the same, and ultimately if I was wasting her time. I think that when you find yourself feeling insecure, it can almost start to reflect and make the other person question their decision and so the lyric summed up just that.”
“I made sure to make the verses a real love letter as to how she changed my perspective on life, for the better – lyrics like “I was empty, lost at 20, feeling bad dreams” were describing a feeling of anguish during the COVID period and how she then came along and “found me” and I felt better. The second way in which I wanted to explore this song was by then making the chorus a homage to how I felt like I self sabotaged and almost tried to think of ways I could get out of what I clearly needed as it scared me. Lyrics like “no ones good enough for you, and it’s certainly not me” felt necessary as I wanted to explore the idea that even when things are perfect it can bring up a lot of imperfections within yourself. Overall the song really highlights all the things that can be wrong with yourself and how they can manifest into self sabotage, but ultimately lead to good if you just stick with them.”
Newman’s fragility and vulnerability prove tremendous assets for “Wasted on Me”; he so effortlessly captures the instability and insecurity we often feel in early on in a relationship, “when the ground beneath you seems like it could disappear at any moment and the fear that all of your flaws and hang-ups will give you away” (per the artist himself).
For as heart-wrenching as this song is, Newman’s chorus is irresistible: A catchy and cathartic release of all the tension, anxiety, and pure worry he’s built up inside:
You’re addictive to be around
I’m scared I might drag you down…
Are you wasted over me
Over me over me
Are you wasted over me
Over me over me
No one’s good enough for you
And it’s certainly not me
What will be will be
Just don’t wanna see you wasted on me
This track is about the initial insecurities felt when I first started dating my current partner. It explores the relationship between self-confidence and self-doubt in the context of entering a new relationship, and wondering whether you are good enough for them and if they are just wasting their time with you.
“Wasted on Me” and “I Will” are the first two singles taken off Newman’s forthcoming debut EP Thoughts So Loud, due out on April 21. His record details aspects of his experience with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
“The idea for this being the name of the EP arose straight off ‘I Will.’ When I first wrote that lyric, it just spoke very personally into my life,” he explains. “I was diagnosed with ADHD last year as a 22-year-old man, which is a relatively late diagnosis as it is usually diagnosed when people are kids as they haven’t had a chance to socially adapt and it seems far more present in their behaviour. Having 22 years of feeling like I was different and had qualities missing and also qualities present that others didn’t, it was a big relief and the start of a journey when I found out. I felt very little empathy but never knew that was the case until I met my partner. This started to form the basis of the EP as she showed me one of the most crucial parts of human existence – how to feel for others. Suddenly I felt anger and sadness on the behalf of this person and I truly had never felt that before.”
“When I first started to think about getting a more well rounded project on the go, I was still in a state of anxiety (this is pre diagnosis) but not truly knowing how to deal with those feelings, so thought I should write an EP about the way men find it hard to explore feelings and it leading to worse circumstances than it would’ve if they had just talked. I then experienced this person coming into my life, and completely changed my perspective on things. This is when I decided to write my EP about the perspective of my feelings rather than how awful they had made me feel for so long. After my diagnosis, I realised how much of my life was affected by it and thus came the song ‘I Will,’ which explores the way my thoughts were just so incredibly distracting and overwhelming, when I found this person they finally calmed.”
“I wanted to write the EP with this idea in mind, and so explored the overwhelming feelings of self doubt, comparison, insecurity and also love which then adds the light to the project. ‘Thoughts So Loud’ means exactly what it says on the tin – my mind was overwhelmed with thought and an inability to stop for 22 years, and so exploring this concept seemed to be the most truthful thing I could’ve done. This mixed with the idea of love and the soppiness of writing about romance I think creates a really lovely and hopeful feel to the EP. I wanted it to be reflective of my journey and my struggles with realising I’m neurodivergent, but also hopeful and spreading positivity around how life can change. This, I think, is highlighted best with ‘Seaside Eyes’ and ‘Home’ being on the positive side and ‘Wasted On Me’ / ‘I Will’ being slightly more retrospective.”
I was empty, lost at 20
Fuelling bad dreams
Tired of holding
Once you found me, I was safe
I know your golden,
Heart was stolen
Now you’re in deep
I’m scared in time,
i’ll help you lose your way
Bertie Newman’s poetry is inspiring, his imagery is poignant, and his performance is utterly breathtaking.
Beauty and pain coalesce perfectly on “Wasted on Me,” a song that aches with passion and purpose. Having manifested his anxiety so vividly throughout this music, one can only hope that Newman can finally begin to move forward a little more freely; that he can work through his worried mind, be honest with himself and his partner, and find full, unbridled happiness.
You’re addictive to be around
but i think i might let you down
Are you wasted over me
Over me over me
Are you wasted over me
Over me over me
No one’s good enough for you
And it’s certainly not me
What will be will be
Just don’t wanna see you wasted on me
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Stream: “Wasted on Me” – Bertie Newman
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© Anna Lowry
© Anna Lowry
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