On her second single “I Watch You Watch Her,” LA’s Box Blonde turns the pain of heartbreak into a cinematic daydream of lost love and letting go. In conversation with Atwood Magazine, she tells us how the track – written in a single hour and steeped in soft strings, nostalgia, and social media voyeurism – captures the surreal heartbreak of seeing your ex fall for someone new, and how its intimate self-directed music video draws inspiration from Nan Goldin and French New Wave.

by Anu Sarode and Brian Denney

Stream: “I Watch You Watch Her” – Box Blonde

If heartbreak had a highlight reel, Box Blonde just hit play.

Her new single “I Watch You Watch Her,” a simple, aching ballad veiled in cigarette smoke and shot entirely on film, turns the devastation of watching your ex fall for someone else into something beautiful. In her own words, the song is voyeuristic, nostalgic, loving. “There’s no ‘you did me wrong,’” she explains. “It’s a loving goodbye.” Built around a piano and soft strings, the track feels like standing outside a party window watching the person you love laugh with someone new.

Atwood Magazine is proud to be premiering “I Watch You Watch Her,” Box Blonde’s second career single (out November 7th). It’s a window that singer/songwriter and actress Emily Mest – who debuted her Box Blonde moniker a little over a year ago – guesses most of us know have at one point or another peered into, with unfettered access to social media apps that give us intimate glimpses into the present lives of past lovers. The result is a track that has all the sadness of a typical breakup song, but very little of the bitterness. There’s no villain, just a tender and painful acceptance of a fate that you never want, but have to live with.

In her self-directed music video, Box Blonde channels her inner perfectionist. Shot at Los Angeles’ historic Kingsley House, every frame is deliberate, complete with soft lighting and just the right amount of glamour. “I’m such a visual person,” she says. “When I’m recording a song, I’m already seeing the video in my head.”

Box Blonde plays two women in the video – one wears a blonde wig and one sports her natural brunette color. When asked about what the changing hair colors mean to her, she answers “the wig and my natural hair to speak to the different sides of Box Blonde at different times in my life. Both equally me.”

Throughout the creative process, she obsessed over the smallest details in her role as both artist and co-director. The only bump in the road, she shared, was casting her love interest. It all came together when a friend sent her a tape of a “classic Hollywood Paul Newman” looking redhead. “Listen,” she laughs, “we’re giving ginger men their moment.”

“I Watch You Watch Her” is only Box Blonde’s second single, following her debut “Warmer” earlier this year. Together, the two songs sketch out the world she’s building – one that swings between flirtatious confidence and raw vulnerability, heartbreak and humor. With a full-length album on the horizon next year (and plenty of singles before then, she’s assured us), Box Blonde is just getting started. We caught up with her at a coffee shop in L.A. to talk about the single, filming the music video, and what we can expect down the pipeline.

Stream “I Watch You Watch Her” exclusively on Atwood Magazine, and dig into our interview below!

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:: stream/purchase I Watch You Watch Her here ::

:: connect with Box Blonde here ::

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Stream: “I Watch You Watch Her” – Box Blonde

A CONVERSATION WITH BOX BLONDE

Atwood Magazine: Congratulations on the release of the new song, “I Watch You Watch Her” – can you tell us a little bit about the single?

Box Blonde: This song, I would say is probably one of my most personal – it’s a classic ballad. I wanted to keep the production really simple and let the lyrics shine because it’s just a heart-wrenching feeling that we can all relate to when you watch somebody that you love fall in love with someone else. I just wanted to keep it simple and raw.

If you had to capture this song in three words what would they be?

Box Blonde: Voyeuristic, nostalgic, and maybe loving. Because I feel like, even though it is very obviously a breakup song, there’s not a bad word that is uttered in it. It’s very much about your heart on your sleeve, when there’s nothing negative to say. This one just didn’t work out, and now you have to watch them live their life with someone else.

There’s no ‘you did me wrong.’ It’s a loving goodbye, it’s very tender. I’m not angry about this situation. I’m angry about plenty of other situations. You’ll hear on the album we were getting mad at the men of the world, but this is just a human thing that happened.

Who did you work with on the track, and what influences did you want to bring into this song?

Box Blonde: I wrote this one alone and then brought it to two of my close friends, Alex Kinsey and Zach Palmer, who I work with on a lot of my music. We started out using the piano piece, which I wrote, and then we built some strings around it. It was very intentionally simple, we wanted it to feel very raw.

Can you talk a little bit about what inspired you to write this song and make this music video?

Box Blonde: I really wanted to talk about the voyeuristic nature of social media in a way. In my music, I don’t really say too many modern things because I am trying to have a different vision of the past from it. But I think we can all understand that feeling of peeking in and watching someone else’s life happen over Instagram.

When you’re going through a breakup and you’re just stalking that person’s social media and then you see their new person and you’re watching them fall… It’s like you’re watching someone else’s love story.

It’s horrifying. It’s absolutely horrifying. Devastating. And then also, there’s also the aspect of living in L.A., which we think of as a big city but it’s not. You run into people. I’ve gone through a breakup and wondering if he maybe saw me cry somewhere in public.

I just wanted this track to be as honest about that feeling as possible, because it is so relatable for so many people, and it’s heartbreaking. When I wrote this, I sat down and wrote all the lyrics in about an hour. Thankfully when I brought it to the boys they loved it, and we didn’t change anything lyrically from the way I had first written it.

What was it like filming the music video?

Box Blonde: When I’m writing music, I’m such a visual person. When I’m recording a song I’m always visualizing a music video for it. This one came about because I was inspired by this photograph, by this artist named Nan Goldin. It’s a kind of post-coital photo of her and a man, and he’s smoking a cigarette. He’s looking out the window, she’s looking at him, and I just thought, that is exactly the feeling that I’m trying to capture with the song, which is when you are looking at someone, they’re not looking at you.

That was the jumping off point for the music video. From there, I pulled a lot of references from French New Wave cinema. I wanted to tell this story of two lovers in a home, at two separate times before and after a breakup. Very simple, but heartbreaking in its own way because you wonder when you’re watching the video, why is this song sad?

Because I’m just watching people in love. And then you see at the end why you are sad. I want to leave it up to everyone’s interpretation. I had a friend the other day tell me that she thought it meant that my lover died. And I thought, okay, whatever. It’s whatever you want it to be.

How does this song connect to who you are as an artist, and your artistic journey as Box Blonde?

Box Blonde: Box Blonde is like the two sides of my personality. We have the sad girl who’s writing these lovers’ laments, and then we have the uber confident, sexy, kind of cheeky side as well, which is a big part of the album I’m hoping to put out next year.

Box Blonde is, in a way, she’s what I wish I could be every day. She’s the most confident, glamorized version of myself. I think for this video specifically, I wanted to show those two sides of me. I’m naturally brunette, so when I put that blonde wig on. It’s something different.

Do you have any fun behind-the-scene stories from the shoot?

Box Blonde: Honestly, it was very smooth because we prepped so much in advance and we shot in the historic Kingsley House in Los Angeles. We struggled initially to cast my love interest – and I was panicking.

Then my friend taped this guy Sam for an audition. She was like, “He’s perfect for it” – he had this classic Hollywood Paul Newman thing happening. And listen, we’re giving ginger men their moment!

How would you compare this song to your debut single, “Warmer”?

Box Blonde: I think that this and “Warmer” are perfect examples of the two sides of Box Blonde. One is very confident, cheeky, sexy. The other is raw and heartbroken. “Warmer” was the song that made me understand exactly what I was gonna do with Box Blonde. I had written other songs before that, but with “Warmer” it really clicked for me. It’s very fun and edgy and sexy, but there’s almost like a little disco happening in that song.

Both of these songs are probably a good representation of what’s to come, but taking it even further and having a little bit more fun with it.

Are there any plans to take your music on the road? Is there anyone you would love to open for?

Box Blonde: It would be my absolute dream to go on tour with the full band and have a whole Box Blonde show. I feel like there’s so much to play around with in a live show.

I’ve thought about who I would want to open up for a lot recently, and a friend of mine who just heard the album said she could see me opening up for Djo. He’s a huge inspiration for me because he is an actor and a musician and keeps them separate. Both acting and music are my passions – I feel like he’s perfectly inspiring to me in that way because he’s killing it at both of them.

There’s so many other people I’d love to tour with – I love The Japanese House, I love King Princess, I’m obsessed with Searows. I’d also love to open up for Suki Waterhouse, someone that I could have a lot of fun with their audience.

When can we expect more music?

Box Blonde: I’m hoping to put out an album in the summer – and plenty of singles until then. Just nonstop, with a visual to accompany each of them. I’m expecting a new single in January that will feel like the antithesis to this song – we want to start the new year on a dance floor, having a little bit of fun.

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