Hauntingly intimate and achingly raw, Woz’s “How I’m Gonna Go” is a breathtaking whisper into the darkness: A stirring outpouring of inner reckoning and emotional turbulence, channeled into a soothing serenade that masks, but can’t hide, the turmoil within.
content warning: suicide and self-harm
Stream: “How I’m Gonna Go” – Woz
It’s just like scissors to paper, said I’ll see you later, but I won’t…
A deep, dark pain lies at the core of Woz’s new single.
Underneath the beautiful guitar playing and the tender, fragile vocals, there’s a soul in pieces; fractured, hurting, ready to throw in the towel and call it a day. Hauntingly intimate and achingly raw, “How I’m Gonna Go” is a breathtaking whisper into the darkness: A stirring outpouring of inner reckoning and emotional turbulence, channeled into a soothing serenade that masks, but can’t hide, the turmoil within.
If you found me now
Would you be ashamed of me?
I know you would
Lower me down
Would you be afraid for me?
Know you should
And it’s just like scissors to paper
Said I’ll see you later, but I won’t
Cause the truth is I’m not looking for a savior
It’s now or later, it’s fast or slow
Either way I know how I’m gonna go
Atwood Magazine is proud to be premiering “How I’m Gonna Go,” the gut-wrenching third single taken off Woz’s forthcoming sophomore EP (set for release later this year). The moniker for New York-based singer/songwriter Dylan Wozniak – son of John Wozniak, lead singer of ’90s rock band Marcy Playground – Woz debuted his project less than eight months ago, and has already begun establishing himself as a singular presence in the alternative world. His songwriting delves deep and holds nothing back, exploring everything from his estranged relationship with his father to childhood trauma and mental health. He released his debut EP, At the Gulf, in November 2022 via Rare Revolutions Records. The title is a reference to his job at the local Gulf gas station, where he currently works the graveyard shift (this frees him up to make music during the day).
Woz’s music has always had a dark tint to it, like a sepia-toned film placed over a full-color photograph, but nothing compares to his latest release. Arriving off the heels of recent tracks “Medicine” and “The Things I Love the Most,” “How I’m Gonna Go” is Woz’s third single of the year, his eighth career song overall, and his must heartrending offering to date: A song aching with pain and distress, written almost like a farewell note to his loved ones: “Don’t waste your love all on saving me,” he pleads. “Keep it for yourself… save it for someone else.“
Tension builds for two minutes through delicate verses and visceral choruses, until Woz erupts in a cinematic breakdown, unleashing all of his built-up energy and pain in a cathartic climax that finds him screaming alongside his electric guitar, pouring his insides out until there’s nothing left to give.
Woz penned “How I’m Gonna Go” just before his suicide attempt in mid-2021.
Don’t waste your love all on saving me
Keep it for yourself
Cause I’ll drain you of every bit of energy
Save it for someone else
And it’s just like scissors to paper
Said I’ll see you later, but I won’t
Cause the truth is I’m not looking for a savior
It’s now or later, it’s fast or slow
Either way I know how I’m gonna go
“When I wrote the song, shortly before my attempt, I was so lost, and out of my depth,” Woz tells Atwood Magazine. “I felt the thoughts looming over me constantly, and I literally couldn’t escape it, but through therapy and good friends, I was able to make it through. I’m grateful those feelings birthed this song. I feel like me and my collaborators, Dallas Caton and Alex Veltri, really channeled that anger perfectly, between the guitars, lyrics, and distortion.”
Back then it was paint on the table, now it’s a mess ’cause I’m so unstable…
Help is out there: Call or text 988 to be connected with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline if you or a loved one is struggling.
Thankfully Woz got help, and he says he’s in a much better place now than he was two years ago. “How I’m Gonna Go” exists now for him as a vivid, brutally honest reminder of where he once was, capturing the heavy weight and crushing feeling of depression, suicidal ideation, and self-destruction.
Stream Woz’s “How I’m Gonna Go” exclusively on Atwood Magazine.
Cause it’s just like scissors to paper
Like when I was a kid who thought he’d be greater
Back then it was paint on the table
Now it’s a mess ’cause I’m so unstable
Honestly i’ve always known
And it’s just like scissors to paper
Said I’ll see you later, but I won’t
Cause the truth is I’m not looking for a savior
It’s now or later, it’s fast or slow
Either way I know how I’m…
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The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline connects callers in the United States to trained crisis counselors in their area who can offer support and resources. If you or a loved one is struggling with thoughts of suicide or another mental health crisis, call or text 988.
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Stream: “How I’m Gonna Go” – Woz
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© Cecilia Luque
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