On “Porsche”, Kacy Hill lets prior sins and shortcomings, perpetuated by circumstance, be absolved into the dirt.
Stream: “Porsche” – Kacy Hill
It borders from ironic to scary when media seems to be released at the exact moment you need it. I remember marveling at how my life seemed to be running parallel to a confused, hurt Season 3 Carrie Bradshaw, although I couldn’t dream of purchasing $400 shoes, much less use my rent money to do so. It’s no secret that in quarantine we all feel so lost. In the face of solitude, introspection is imminent. The vast majority of people are alone and are too defeated to find ways to entertain themselves, thus slowly opening the whirlpool for a game of the mind.
Thankfully, the musicians we revere have been releasing their art under the same conditions. The accessibility of such work like Fiona Apple’s Fetch the Bolt Cutters, and Charli XCX’s How I’m Feeling Now provide solace from their mirrored, stagnant bodies, and frenetic minds. An artist who is following a similar mindset, yet preaching a slightly different tune, is Kacy Hill. Specifically her newest single “Porsche” is rising to the forefront.
Listen: “Porsche” – Kacy Hill
Alternative Pop artist Kacy Hill released her first EP, Bloo, in 2015, and her first debut album, Like A Woman, in 2017 on Kanye West’s G.O.O.D. Label. She has since left his label and has been releasing new singles with Def Jam Records – singles including “Porsche”, which inadvertently became emblematic of the helplessness of self loathing in quarantine. Hill, however, dances to a different tune than her counterparts and would rather let prior sins and shortcomings perpetuated by circumstance, be absolved into the dirt.
“Porsche”’s composition is so simple- a steady beat with flecks of pop levity. It’s the lyrics that, while also simple, carry the weight of so many people’s emotional state. Hill starts off by saying she wants to run everything she’s feeling off, disintegrate it into the hug of someone close. Hill is frustrated that she didn’t listen to her intuition, however, she ends the verse off on an interesting thought. “But now I guess it’s worse to take it all to heart”. The aforementioned line becomes the crux of the entire song; what is pointing a finger going to do?
The idea of radical acceptance is one that says, “Things happen how they happen, and there are a lot of situations we have no control over, and we should be placated by that rather than angry”. Everyone on this planet could not have predicted a global pandemic, but yet here it is. Is it his fault? Hers? Or maybe it’s the world’s fault for dealing us the shittiest hand imaginable.
Kacy Hill, unintentionally or not, is saying it doesn’t matter. Rather than harboring on blame, and the insecurity it propagates, let yourself feel comforted by the idea that on a macroscopic scale, things just happen. On the bridge, Kacy states:
“Don’t take it personally, hmm.
These things don’t work out the way you thought.
I said I’d be patient and get out of my own way.
It’s too good to be true”.
Of course, she is not speaking directly to the pandemic but, in these times, it’s what we’re all picking up on. Her words can relay the idea that nothing is working out like we planned, we all feel affected, but it’s so important to not turn a knife inward. We’re just victims to systems with no metric like fate.
In the chorus, Hill drives home a point of optimism in the wake of radical acceptance:
“No one’s gonna tell you,
It isn’t all about you.
Everybody loves you,
Everybody loves you,
Turn, turn it around, baby you’re down,
But everybody loves you”.
She’s quite literally begging you to remember to love yourself. Unfortunately not everyone can be expected to validate their love for you. We should start being able to validate that for ourselves, especially given the state of the world. A lot of people haven’t seen their loved ones for 3 months, and in the wake of their separation, she urges you to remember to love yourself. Remind yourself about the futility of fault, and not letting your anxiety make you feel like a despicable skin sack. As difficult as it may be, try to examine self love, “No one’s gonna tell you turn it around, say it out loud. Everybody loves you”. Alleviate the negative self-talk by verbalizing that you’re so loved, inexplicably, and you have to say it. Kacy repeats the phrase “everybody loves you” as a mantra not just for herself and her own qualms, but for the listener to sing along and digest.
I cannot specifically attest if Hill meant to release a song so perfect for quarantine I think that is another notion better yet left to fate. Although it’s becoming exceedingly difficult, “Porsche” urges us in our inevitable descent inward, to put the finger down and listen to the tiny voice that reminds us how loved we are. If her next album produces any more work like “Porsche”, excited would be an understatement for me.
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? © Chuck Grant
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