Intoxicatingly ambient and stirringly bittersweet, MA/SA’s intimately aching new single “In My Breath” is a haunting, heavy-hearted upheaval filled with emotional scars and ghosts of love’s past.
for fans of Ásgeir, James Blake, The xx
Stream: “In My Breath” – MA/SA
You are moonlight and gravity as I fall upward into you through the quiet night, mourning the restless break of day, knowing that nothing will ever be the same. We are forever changed, and now, you are in my breath.
A vulnerable and aching seduction, MA/SA’s new single radiates with the familiar ache of loss and longing. We can move on, but our past will forever be a part of our present. Intoxicatingly ambient and stirringly bittersweet, the intimate “In My Breath” is a haunting, heavy-hearted upheaval filled with emotional scars and ghosts of love’s past. Laced in radiant, subdued R&B tones and backed by a compelling pulse, “In My Breath” is an indulgent, wintry, and hypnotic overhaul we can all sink into, letting its colorful pallet of sound and feeling wash over our ears and seep into our souls.
(With you) been a while,
Oh it’s been a while,
I still see you on my ceiling,
Oh like I’m dreaming,
And though it’s fleeting.
It’s enough to steal me away.
Steal me away.
(It’s been a while, oh it’s been a while,
Have you fell in love again?)
Atwood Magazine is proud to be premiering the audio and Didier Konings-directed music video for “In My Breath,” the final single off MA/SA’s forthcoming Xela-produced EP, MMXXII (out February 4, 2022). Introduced in 2020, MA/SA is the new musical project of two-time Grammy nominated artist Matthew Santos. Perhaps best known for his work collaborating with Lupe Fiasco on the 2008 hit “Superstar” (he’s the one telling us we are who we say we are), Santos has released multiple albums under his own name and as the frontman for electronic band MONAKR. He has long proven his talents, showcasing a stunning range and a voice that can flourish in all kinds of roles and conditions.
Enter MA/SA, a searing new project limited only by its creators’ vision. Santos’ latest releases have engaged with deep atmospheres, mellow electronica, ethereal R&B, and more. May 2021’s Shook EP can’t help but envelops the ears as the artist journeys from moody opener “Back to Earth” straight through “To the Void,” an evocative finale reminiscent of Imagine Dragons and Bastille’s pop-leaning, hip-hop influenced tracks.
Following this past December’s cinematic single “Try,” “In My Breath” is a truly breathtaking piece of emotional music. MA/SA sings over a pool of cool, gentle instruments and background vocal harmonies, wearing his heart on his metaphorical sleeve as he aims to capture the sheer weight of breakup-induced grief. The music grows increasingly ambient as the song progresses, ultimately engulfing us in that space where sound and emotion collide.
Just when I’m starting to get on again…
Get on again.
Just when I’m starting to get on again…
Get on again.
Been a while, it’s been a while.
Have you fell in love again?
Been a while, it’s been a while.
Have you fell in love again?
“For me this song is about the ending of a long-term relationship and learning how to live with the void of that deeply-rooted bond — and the distractions that we use to not feel the heartache and loss, to avoid looking deep into the mirror and confronting our own mistakes and misgivings,” Santos tells Atwood Magazine. “There’s a drawn out process of grieving that happens through avoidance and distraction post breakup. A haunting of mundane things, like her spirit of living sown through my every day dealings. Those things that keep us up at night, the stolen pillow rest swept up in reruns of regret and arresting sadness. Escape seems like the only option.”
“A vicious cycle of turning cheek while the lonely winter groans, running from the cold into the arms of a willing stranger, afloat through the nights on a cloud. Yet there you are again, on the ceiling of my dark room, soaked in dream. You are moonlight and gravity as I fall upward into you through the quiet night, mourning the restless break of day, knowing that nothing will ever be the same. We are forever changed, and now, you are in my breath.”
Directed by Didier Konings and produced by Leah Silberman, MA/SA’s “In My Breath” music video enriches the listening experience – bringing the song’s poignant story to life. We follow the grief-stricken protagonist (portrayed by Okeriete “Oak” Onaodowan, whose credits include the original cast of Hamilton and ABC’s television series, Station 19) as he tries to “get back out there,” going to a club and immersing himself in both nightlife, and a bottle of Jack. Try as he might, though he attempts to connect with new women (portrayed by Marisol Miranda), the ghosts of past romance (played by Hope Harris) haunt him, showing up at every turn no matter where he goes or who he’s wit.
“In this video, I wanted to explore the dark place we can fall into when we’re grieving a relationship,” director Konings explains. “Coming to terms with the loss is the only way to eventually grow out of that darkness. It was truly a blessing to work with this team to create a world and narrative that reflected the weight of the song. Together we were able to capture the feeling through an incredibly moving performance by our leads, working hand in hand with our production design and visual storytelling.”
In essence, what we learn is that you can’t run from your emotions; you can’t hide from them, or pretend they’re not there, that you’re fine, and nothing’s going on inside. The title, “In My Breath,” is a nod to the idea that these people and our memories are as intrinsically a part of our identity, the way that our very breath inherently defines the very act of our existence.
It’s a somber notion to reckon with: That your exes are a part of you, no matter what – but the important piece to remember is that we don’t stop growing. As long as we can face the past head on, we can keep moving forward, growing, and evolving – and as we grow, those parts of us that were once all-consuming slowly loosen their grip on our identities, shrinking into the recesses of our being as we come to be defined in new ways, by new people and fresh experiences.
Time heals those wounds, but when you’re reeling through the thick of it, all you want to do is escape.
“In My Breath” wrestles with those turbulent inner feelings, allowing MA/SA’s audience a space in which to dwell, slip away, and perhaps lose ourselves for a moment or two. Watch this cinematic video exclusively on Atwood Magazine!
Float through the night,
Float through the night.
You’re in my breath babe,
In my breath,
In my breath,
In my breath babe.
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Stream: “In My Breath” – MA/SA
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