Canadian alt-folk artist Mariel Buckley opens up about breakups, burnout, and creating songs for the outsiders.
Stream: “Vending Machines” – Mariel Buckley
Canadian alt-folk artist Mariel Buckley has just released a new single, “Vending Machines.”
Written during a low point at the end of 2023, the track came to life in the aftermath of a break-up and a financially draining tour. It speaks about that unsettling feeling of not knowing what the future holds or which direction you’re heading. The artist shares, “I was genuinely questioning my career, personal life as a result of that career, my distant-feeling relationships with family and friends, and how I could restart after yet another big change.” We all hit a bit of a plateau at some stage in our lives, and Buckley perfectly sums up those emotions in the new release.
The lights under the bridge stay on
A guide in the dark for the barely hanging on
I drive it back and forth every now and then
Drop you at the front doors, try to say goodbye again
The distant glowing embers of working men
In their rotten mouths, are turning grey to red
Bouncing up like fireflies, dancing around their heads
Clutching at my chest whenever I see them drawing in
The song marks a bit of a shift for Buckley, too. She’s stepping away from synths and keys this time around, leaning into a heavier, more guitar-driven sound inspired by ’90s alt-rock and Americana. Sonically, “Vending Machines” mimics the feeling of being stuck in limbo, with a looping guitar riff that echoes the monotony and uncertainty at the heart of the song.
I will wait
Outside in parking lots, with my dreams
Try to chase something pretty
Staring at the vending machines
It’s always the choice between another round
Or staring at a colour tv
One bad call after another
I don’t want to worry my mother
Atwood Magazine spoke with Mariel Buckley about the new single, how it marks a fresh chapter and how to deal with feeling trapped in an emotional limbo.
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:: stream/purchase Vending Machines here ::
:: connect with Mariel Buckley here ::
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Stream: “Vending Machines” – Mariel Buckley
A CONVERSATION WITH MARIEL BUCKLEY
Atwood Magazine: “Vending Machines” feels like the start of a new chapter for you, both sonically and personally. Can you take us back to the headspace you were in when this song started to take shape?
Mariel Buckley: This song kinda fell out of me at a very low point near the end of 2023. I’d just come home from a tour that didn’t break even and was in the process of separating from my partner of five years. We had realized over the course of several months that she very much wanted to be a parent and that I wanted to continue touring and working my career as much as possible. Living in Edmonton, there’s a huge working class that’s super visible, and I would be driving around seeing these guys covered in tar, chain-smoking at 7am, and I felt a weird kinship to them. Although my work is objectively less difficult in many ways, there’s a definite through line of long hours, time away from family, waiting around, repetitive activity and an aching body. I tried to marry the narratives of someone in that lifestyle and myself by finding common ground where we all commune: parking lots in front of vending machines.
You mentioned wanting to move away from synths and keys this time around. What was it about that “heavier” sound that called to you? Were there any artists or records that inspired that shift?
Mariel Buckley: I loved making my last record, and it was such a treat to explore that post-punk, heavy synth thing, but I was definitely listening to more guitar/string instrument driven stuff when I was writing for this next batch of songs. I grew up in the 90s and found myself revisiting a lot of alt-rock from that era, and a fair bit of heavier Americana stuff. Specific examples for the sonic approach would be Ruston Kelly, Stephen Wilson Jr., Sun Kil Moon and the Goo Goo Dolls.
The song captures that liminal space of self-doubt and searching in such a powerful way. Was there a particular moment or experience that sparked the idea for it?
Mariel Buckley: Much like the actual song, it’s just been a culmination of so many moments exactly alike. It really hits me all the time when I’m on tour between the 1hr of stage time, how often I’m actually just waiting around for something to happen. That feeling can be really exciting, but it can also be incredibly exhausting and anxiety inducing. Sometimes things just are, and waiting around for “it” to happen has never served me that well.
There’s a line in your description that really stuck out - the idea of “trying to find a way forward” while stuck in a loop. How do you personally deal with that kind of emotional limbo, and did writing this song help at all?
Mariel Buckley: Yeah, I think that songwriting in general is a huge act of catharsis for me, so definitely communicating these feelings in a song that (I hope) other people will relate to is very helpful. I try to check in with my family and friends, keep grounded and get outside into nature as well. It’s important to remind myself that a whole amazing world exists outside of my mid-level folk-singing career, haha.
That idea of the “endless travel day” really hits. Was touring or life on the road part of the inspiration, or was it more of a metaphor for your internal state?
Mariel Buckley: I’ve written a lot about touring and the road but honestly, this one stems a lot more from my internal world of never feeling like I can sit still and exist presently. Even on tour, I find myself locked into the obsessive “what’s next” thought pattern. I have to work really hard to exist in the moment, but it’s really rewarding when I can dig in my heels and look around. I feel like a lot of folks can relate to that feeling, no matter what they do for work.
Your Instagram bio reads “Hard-headed, soft-hearted songs for depressives and degenerates,” which honestly might be the best artist tagline we’ve ever seen. Where did that come from, and do you think there’s a kind of freedom in writing for the outsiders, the messier parts of ourselves?
Mariel Buckley: Huge praise, haha. Yeah, I mean, I definitely play up the “mentally ill songwriter” thing (despite also being a mentally ill songwriter) but I think it’s really freeing and validating to write for people that I see as similar. Growing up I remember feeling very much an outsider, and I’ve always pushed back very hard against traditional values and ideals as a result. That “fuck you I’ll do it anyway” spirit has served me well in my adult years, although I’ve also had to do some work on softening my perspective and approach. I guess I always hope to write music for folks who feel like nobody understands them, because I still feel that way all the time.
You’ve had the pleasure of sharing stages with the likes of Orville Peck, k.d. lang, The Bros Landreth and Frazey Ford. But if you could pick one person to tour with, who would it be and why?
Mariel Buckley: Oh man, this is a hard one. Every year I’m blown away by artists I’ve never heard of and the staples in my record collection. I’ve loved every support tour I’ve been on and it always inspires me like crazy. Right now I’d say that MJ Lenderman, Springsteen, Ruston Kelly, Neko Case and John Moreland are some all-time faves I’d love to open for.
Sonically, this single opens up some exciting new territory for you. Are you sitting on more songs in this vibe, or what can we expect next from Mariel Buckley?
Mariel Buckley: I’m sitting on some things, yes! I can’t say too much yet, but I will say that “Vending Machines” is the least adventurous (sonically) of the batch. It gets pretty weird and heavy, I’m excited to share.
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:: stream/purchase Vending Machines here ::
:: connect with Mariel Buckley here ::
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Stream: “Vending Machines” – Mariel Buckley
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