In honor of Pride Month, Atwood Magazine has invited artists to participate in a series of essays reflecting on identity, music, culture, inclusion, and more.
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Today, singer/songwriter Tobi LaCroix reflects on identity, acceptance, and self-expression in his personal essay “Palatability as a Trans Person.” Tracing his journey from internalized expectations to self-liberation, LaCroix shares how embracing his truth has shaped his artistry. His story, rooted in resilience and community, is part of Atwood Magazine’s Pride Month series honoring the diverse voices and lived experiences of LGBTQIA+ artists.
Tobi LaCroix is a classically trained theatrical pop dramatist and trans storyteller scoring his own coming-of-age. Raised in Virginia and now studying in the prestigious singer/songwriter program at Interlochen Arts Academy, LaCroix’s music is guided more by curiosity than convention. He began writing songs at age eleven and studying classical piano by six, laying the foundation for the emotionally rich, musically adventurous work he creates today.
LaCroix’s breakthrough came with “Home,” a vulnerable track inspired by his experience as a trans person. Written in response to feelings of isolation and misunderstanding, the song traces his personal journey from early self-awareness to confronting societal projections. “In many instances, I am the only trans person someone I know has ever met,” he shares. “I wrote this song in hopes that people would hear it and understand more about trans people and the trans experience.” What began as a personal reckoning became a powerful turning point, musically and emotionally.
A YoungArts winner, LaCroix has performed at The Harvest Festival and the Traverse City Opera House, and shared the stage with artists like Dar Williams. He has also earned over 200 million views across Instagram and TikTok with his raw, genre-fluid performances, catching the attention of artists like Halsey, SZA, Alanis Morissette, and Jewel.
Alongside his songwriting, LaCroix is currently developing an original musical, blending his passion for theater with contemporary composition. Whether he’s at the piano, writing from mood boards of film clips, or performing on stage, Tobi invites listeners into a world where emotional honesty meets cinematic imagination. His debut EP is set to release in mid 2025.
Tobi LaCroix’s latest single “Home” is out now. Stream the music video and read his personal essay for Atwood Magazine’s Pride Month series below!
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“PALATABILITY” AS A TRANS PERSON
by Tobi LaCroix
To me, being trans is about nuance.
It’s about a person being able to express themself in the way that feels best to them, not the way that feels best to others.
At this point in my life, I am learning to be able to express myself in the way I want, rather than try to fit myself in the box of what some might think a trans man should be. That wasn’t always the case for me, though. For most of my life, even before coming out as trans, I felt like I had to avoid femininity for others to see me as I was. It wasn’t until recently, when my online content started to take off, that I finally learned my lesson: No matter how much I stuck to “masculine” clothing or mannerisms, others would always attack my transness.
After a while, I began to realize that I shouldn’t be pandering to people who would never accept me. Regardless of what I do and regardless of whether or not I am trans the “right way,” some will support me and some will not. It is not my responsibility to worry about the opinions of people who will hate me for who I am, no matter what I do. It is my responsibility to stay true to myself and express my identity in the way that feels right to me.
It can feel easy to be affected by the judgment of others.
I felt, for a long time, that if I were to dress outside of the traditionally “masculine” standard, I would be squandering the privilege that I have to be openly trans. At the same time, I was still feeling the pressure of having grown up a girl and feeling as if I wasn’t feminine enough. For so long, I was trapped between expectations from both sides of the gender binary. Over the past two years, however, I have had the amazing opportunity to live in a community where I will be accepted no matter what.
However I dress, appear, or act, I will be taken at my word that I am who I say I am. This has allowed me to explore my identity in ways I would have never thought possible. I thought, at first (as I am very open online), that this would lead to my accounts receiving more hate or that people wouldn’t take me as seriously. However, those online who didn’t support me continued to not support me. More importantly, though, everyone who already supported me continued to support me. The people who care about your identity will always care about your identity, but the people who care about you will always care about you.
In July of 2023, almost two years ago now, I wrote a song called “Home” about my experience as a trans person and the responses from my community. Living in Virginia, I had a hard time being accepted by my peers. I found myself changing who I was to fit in with their standards (which didn’t work). I was so focused on becoming “acceptable” that I wasn’t focused on finding those who loved me as I already was. I felt the intense need that I had to be palatable to cis people in my community.
As I was planning to release “Home,” I returned to some of the same thoughts that I used to have, feeling like I had to “represent my community” in a way that looks good from the outside.
The more I feel like this, the more I remind myself that it is not my job to make cis people feel comfortable with my identity. I’ve realized that it is more valuable to me to help others within my community than it is to represent a “good image” to those outside my community.
I used to do what I do so that Jim in Nebraska might come across my page and have a change of heart, but I think it is not only more realistic, but more impactful to do what I do so that Kai in Nebraska can come across my page and know that they’re not alone. – Tobi LaCroix
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:: connect with Tobi LaCroix here ::
:: stream/purchase “Home” here ::
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Stream: “Home” – Tobi LaCroix
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