HOW WE’VE ALL BECOME TOO MASCULINE

Ways to Rest and Embrace Our Yin (Femininity) and Avoid Burnout!

by Salin

One day, I was listening to a podcast during a drive up to a cottage. Mo Gawdat, an Egyptian entrepreneur and a chief business officer at Google X, spoke on The Diary of CEO podcast. Steven, the host, asked Mo a question:

“What are the failures you cherish the most?”

“I’ve failed to empower my feminine side. […] and I think our world is suffering from hypermasculinity.”

As a woman, hearing a man with a deep voice say that struck me to question, what is a masculine or a feminine trait? When we speak of masculinity and femininity, we always think about men and women, but in this notion, Mo Gawdat speaks more about our masculine and feminine traits like Yin and Yang that exist interconnectedly in all of us.

According to Taoism, a Chinese philosophy, Yin and Yang represent ‘opposing but interconnected forces that form a whole.’ Yin is often associated with feminine traits like earth, passivity, and absorption, while yang is associated with heaven, light, and activity. Yin cannot exist without Yang and vice versa. However, according to Taoism, Yin, a passive trait, is viewed as a negative trait rather than a positive one. In our modern society, we have embraced the Yang, the active symbolism, and forgotten the Yin, the stillness. We’re always on the go. When we pause or rest, we might feel like we’re slacking or behind; some might call us lazy or even dysfunctional. It’s frowned upon in modern society, and we value ‘doing’ more than ‘being.’ Right now, our Yin and Yang is imbalanced.

The world cherishes how much we can achieve, and sometimes it almost feels like we might not be loved at all if we don’t achieve anything. Social media has largely contributed to this factor, as many industries rely more and more on the number of likes and followers to predict sales. Perhaps in the world of commerce, numbers are important, but to have numbers translate to our self-worth is an illusion. You love your best friends because they are kind, sweet, and are always there for you when you need them. But sometimes, when we all get stuck in the rat race, we forget that we don’t have to constantly prove ourselves in our work to be loved. We can just be more, embrace stillness after running a marathon.

If you’re like me, a bit of a workaholic, being in the music industry itself puts you in constant competition, on edge, and it might feel like if you stop, you might get run over. Contrary to modern norms, I’ve taken a couple of days to think about ways that I can slow down and rest.

Schedule social media rest days.
It makes a difference to take some time off with yourself and not be inspired by heartbreaking news or constantly seeing someone doing better than you. It’s good to keep yourself updated on what’s happening, but not 24/7. Your brain needs some stillness, too.
Find time to reconnect with your body.
We’re in our heads all the time, thinking about what to do next, what to plan, what’s next. Between intense work hours, find time to connect with our bodies through other senses such as smell, touch, sight, taste, and hearing. It can be a 10-minute walk in a park, listening to the fountain or the birds chirping, or it can be a 30-minute intense workout at the end of the day. It can also be some light stretches with 528hz, whatever it is that makes you feel good and re-connect with your body after an intense day.
Take a Mental Vacation.
Vacation might not be affordable and may be impossible during a busy time. But taking a mental vacation can be done wherever you are and without spending. You can do this sitting or lying down and imagine yourself going to a place that brings you serenity. Take a deep breath. How does that feel? What does it smell like? How does that sound? Is it the sound of the ocean? The sound of the birds chirping from a distance? Breath. Stay with it for 10-15 minutes. How do you feel after?
Imagine your thoughts and worries in a box
There are times for everything. There are times for work and times to rest. On your days off, if you still find yourself wandering about work, problem solving, planning, you can tell yourself not now, and put those worries into an imaginary box and close it. You know that you can come back to it later.
Say Yes to YOU!
I used to think it was selfish to think about myself and what I want and need. But if you’re someone who poured yourself into work, friends, and family, and you barely have time to think about yourself and what you need. It’s okay to go on a ‘date’ with yourself and do whatever you want to do (as long as it’s ethical) once a week, without having to compromise your partner or drag someone along. It doesn’t have to be a whole day, sometimes just a little morning to yourself or a little evening when your family is asleep and you’ve been wanting to let your creative mind run wild. We need to still feel like a child sometimes to reset. You can also let your partner know that this is what you need at the moment. You’re not hurting anyone. You need to make time for you, too.

What if we’re working not from an egoistic place of, ‘let me show you what I can do,’ but instead, we’re doing things to nurture and to share our art?

What if we’re more present with what we’re doing so we can enjoy every moment of it? What if we allow our femininity to guide us when we need rest, rather than have to push our body and our mind through? How would you move through the world, and how will your actions impact the world? Will it be more in harmony with yourself and the world or against the world? I hope this inspires you to embrace your femininity more, to be present more in your everyday activities, and to live a more balanced, peaceful life.

If you’re curious about my art, I’ve written some songs that perhaps will calm your soul. Listen to “Cocoon Interlude” and “Painted Lady” from my recently released album Rammana, I hope you enjoy it! – Salin