The sun shines its warm rays down on Hope Tala’s bruised heart in “I Can’t Even Cry” as the British singer/songwriter turns her malaise into something slightly sweeter.
Stream: “I Can’t Even Cry” – Hope Tala
A song about hope – the most vulnerable one I’ve ever made.
Intimate and unfiltered, Hope Tala’s first single in two years is, at its core, the product of a bruised, broken heart…
So why, then, do I feel so light and uplifted every time I listen? Surely I’m not that sadistic?
No, there’s a third word missing in that description of Tala’s heart: It’s bruised, broken, but undeterred.
The British singer/songwriter “can’t help but want to be alone” as she bandages invisible emotional wounds, but even at her lowest point in love’s cruel game, she knows that “one day I’ll find my feet.” Love can be a marvel and it can be vicious, it’s true – and on “I Can’t Even Cry,” Hope Tala continues to believe in the beauty and power of love, despite what it’s done to her; despite all the hurt and pain it’s made her feel.
Thought you were the one for me, I did
Thought you were the one that I’d be with
Strolling hand in hand like little kids
Until you turned around and f*ed with it
Now I can’t help but wanna be alone
Pack up my bags and walk out the door
Know that I’m about to lose this war
But I can’t remember
what I’ve been fighting for
As Tala explains, this song is so much more nuanced and complex (and, quite frankly, interesting!) than your typical, standard heartbreak woe-is-me-type tune.
Though, to be perfectly candid, the “woe-is-me” stuff can be particularly powerful when done well. To her credit, Tala goes above and beyond that hurt, and that darkness, ultimately finding the light at the end of what is so often a long tunnel. She’s not out of it yet, but she’s making her way through that darkness one day at a time:
Is it love or is it something different?
Voice of caution in my eardrums,
but I never listen
Opening my heart ’til the thing is messy
But I’m scared of all the hoping
and the wishful thinking
‘Cause love can be a marvel,
but it can be viscous
Cut you ’til you’re bleeding
without no permission
‘Til tears are in your eyes,
love will blur your vision
Blur your vision
But I can’t even cry, cry
So many sleepless nights, nights
I’ve been asking myself why, why
As hard as I try
I’m as cold as ice, petrified
I can’t even cry
I can’t even cry
“When writing ‘I Can’t Even Cry’ I was trying to encapsulate the state of being numb, of being too hurt to feel,” Tala tells Atwood Magazine.
“It’s special to me for a number of reasons, one being that it’s the first song I ever made with my friend Anoop after two false starts attempting to write together when my personal life was a mess. It felt like a gift, our third time lucky trying to make a song together, to find this one within me, a song that ultimately sees beyond numbness toward hope.”
“I think the broader point of ‘I Can’t Even Cry’ is about granting myself the permission to contemplate a future beyond the sorrow that was consuming my life and my spirit during the time in which it was written.”
I know that one day, I’ll find my fate
I’ll be with somebody who loves me
Loves me hard enough to leave me be
Who gives me the time and space to breathe
Been making my peace
with what the future holds
Embracing all the things that I don’t know
Everyone I’ll meet and where I’ll go
Remember what I was fighting for
The sun shines its sweet rays down on Hope Tala’s melancholy in “I Can’t Even Cry,” turning her malaise into something slightly sweeter.
Even if she can’t crack a smile today, she knows she will soon (enough). A gentle, glistening R&B tune with an infectious beat and gorgeous melodies, this song balances happiness and sadness in near-perfect harmony. You can opt to bounce in the glow of Tala’s buoyant rhythms and seductive, soul-stirring vocals, or you can soak up her emotional distress and all the heartache that’s led up to this moment.
Either way, “I Can’t Even Cry” promises to evoke strong reactions as a young artist explores both the pain of love, and her everlasting faith in its limitless possibilities. She “can’t even cry” today, but who knows what tomorrow brings?
Is it love or is it something different?
Voice of caution in my eardrums,
but I never listen
Opening my heart ’til the thing is messy
But I’m scared of all the hoping
and the wishful thinking
‘Cause love can be a marvel,
but it can be viscous
Swear I’ll learnt to feel again,
make it my mission
‘Til tears are in my eyes,
love will blur my vision
But for now, I can’t even cry…
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Stream: “I Can’t Even Cry” – Hope Tala
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© Erica Devin Snyder
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