Gay Meat’s debut album ‘Blue Water’ is a touching indie rock pastiche paying tribute to the songwriter’s late mother.

Stream: ‘Blue Water’ – Gay Meat

Memories are often hazy, complicated things.

While we can occasionally drift into a black-and-white filtered thought or be transported vividly by a familiar smell, it’s when we go and sit with them that we uncover the roots in who we are, the things we wish we could’ve said, and how we wish we could go back. Gay Meat’s debut full-length Blue Water, out now via Skeletal Lightning, occupies the many spaces that memory brings.

Through thirteen tracks, North Carolina-born, Chicago-based singer/songwriter Karl Kuehn reflects on his life with his mom, whom he started caring for after she suffered a series of seizures in 2018. Throughout the three years that he cared for his mother until her death in 2021, Kuehn wrote the songs that would become Blue Water to cope and begin seeing more in his mother’s story through becoming her caregiver.

Like an old photograph, the record begins with a voice recording of his mom telling him she loves him. It sets the tone for the album, showing that this is not just a collection of tunes, but it’s truly a declaration of love for his mother after her death. As the refrain hits, it feels like the album’s mission statement: he’s continually finding his mom even as she’s passed.

Goddamn this irony
Never one to fail me
It always takes the ones I love
But I’d know your face
from anywhere, or anyplace

The record has plenty of heart-wrenching and touching moments. In the album’s catchiest track “My Mother’s Son,” Kuehn starts to realize the qualities that he shares with his mom, which is something that only aging will reveal to you.

Still, there are the difficult things that caring for a sick parent with a terminal illness inevitably bring.

“More Good Angels” is about trying to take solace when you can’t even talk to the person you want to. He brings up the “lucky charm” motif that the album’s opening sets. “More good comes to those who wait, who see through hell, that’s what you’d always say, but now I can’t just ask you questions,” he sings. Even the album’s standout song “Vodka Sprite” is a series of images that seem to define different stretches in the three years that he was caring for his parent.

Even though grief is one of the defining characteristics in this album, there are moments of beauty throughout like “12,000 I Love Yous,” where Kuehn lays out all the times that he tells his mom that he loves her. Even though the tune comes from a melancholic place, it’s also a staunch reminder to the listener to tell people when you love them. 

Similar to photos in a scrapbook, the musical pastiche that makes up the record all take on distinct sounds.

At points, Blue Water drifts into dreamy indie rock reminiscent of 2000s greats like Death Cab for Cutie and Modest Mouse. Even the more uptempo songs take on a dreamy quality. “My Mother’s Son” swells with just a touch of Joshua Tree; while “More Good Angels” has just a touch of surf rock guiding the beat. “Hate” balances folk with a twee keyboard adding brightness behind it. Despite being a full band record, many of the album’s standout songs would work just as well with just Kuehn and a guitar or piano, like “Vodka Sprite” or “12,000 I Love Yous.”

By the time Blue Water reaches “Cheat Death,” Kuehn shows that he lets the lessons he learned from his mother guide him, as he echoes the album’s opening chorus. In the penultimate track, he sings, “I’m trying to do right by you.” Just as anyone who has lost someone wishes they could continue to show them what they’ve made for them, this record is ultimately a testament to the relationship he had with his mom.

The record closes with one noisy voice note of his mom singing, joking with him. It’s a fond place to close, where even as we live with the grief of those who have passed, we should still look to the days we laughed and hope we do right by them.

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:: connect with Gay Meat here ::

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 © Nick O'Reilly

Blue Water

an album by Gay Meat