A catchy, cathartic, and churning inner reckoning, Abby Holliday’s “The Price” is emotionally charged indie pop at its finest: An aching anthem of hard-won acceptance acknowledging the past’s strain on the present, and all the lingering trauma and scars that may never fully heal or dissipate.
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Stream: “The Price” – Abby Holliday
If loving you was a crime, I’m still paying the price…
One of the biggest life lessons, for me, has been the slow but steady acceptance that everything and everyone I know is temporary and liminal.
Just because people come and go from our lives doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate them for who they were to us when they were with us and we knew them best – whether it’s a friendship, a lost love, or someone’s passing.
Clearly, I’m not the only one ruminating on these things, because Abby Holliday‘s latest single takes this same thought and turns it into a spellbinding, soul-stirring song. A catchy, cathartic, and churning inner reckoning, “The Price” is aching, emotionally charged indie pop at its finest, and another undeniable “win” from the Cincinnati-bred, Nashville-based singer/songwriter (and longtime Atwood favorite).
Independently released May 17, Holliday’s third song of the year (following “Immortal” and “Sleeping Sculpture”) acknowledges the past’s strain on the present, and all our lingering trauma and scars that never fully heal or dissipate: How we can think we’re unequivocally “over” something or someone, only to be thrown right back into the messy metaphorical trenches just by a chance encounter.
A touch on the shoulder
Wow, you look older
I’ve missed out on your adult life
But the fault wasn’t mine right?
The fault wasn’t mine, right
Pretend I didn’t notice you
Right when you walked in
The ball is in your court
And you chose to say hi
And I don’t mind
Really, I don’t mind
Born out of one such experience with a ghost from her past, “The Price” sees Holliday dealing with those raw, visceral emotions in real time,
trying to untangle her present self from the person she used to be, all the while acknowledging just how hard it really is to live and let die, so-to-speak. She hits a fever pitch in the song’s irresistible and spirited chorus, dwelling in pools of bright, bold sonics and vulnerable, exposed depths as she comes to realize “it’s not a crime to love somebody and let it die if it needs to die.”
But all at once, I’m met with my past
It’s like I’m looking at the bottom of a looking glass
All at once, I realize
It’s not a crime to love somebody
And let it die
If it needs to die
“‘The Price’ was written shortly after running into someone from my past,” Holliday explains. “It’s easy to look at past relationships and sort of cringe at how you acted at the time. All of the confusing feelings post-break up can just lump into a negative connotation towards it all. Maybe you have regrets. Maybe you’ve tried to lock that part of your life away so deep in your mind that it never resurfaces.”
“‘The Price’ describes the flood of emotions that come with unexpectedly being face-to-face with the person who once knew you so deeply, but knows nothing about you now. I think it’s a beautiful thing when something ends, and you have so much separation from the situation, that you can eventually appreciate it for what it was, and realize ‘it’s not a crime to love somebody and let it die.'”
Just for a moment
I’m a child of our divorce
I’m both parents and the kid
in the middle of the storm
I still stick up for both sides
But the fault wasn’t mine right?
The fault wasn’t mine, right
All at once, I’m met with my past
It’s like I’m looking at the bottom of a looking glass
All at once, I realize
It’s not a crime to love somebody
And let it die
If it needs to die
At once heavy and light, “The Price” proves a hypnotic, mesmerizing force on both the ears and the heart as Abby Holliday spins together her very own anthem of hard-won acceptance.
Whatever we’re dealing with or working through, be it a fresh scab or an old wound, it helps to remember that healing is a long and winding road; some days and weeks will inevitably be better than others, and sometimes we may find ourselves back at square one – but there also comes a time where we wake up, and we aren’t bothered anymore; we go about our days and we don’t think about it, and life goes on like it always does.
And if we’re not there tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, then that’s okay too: “If loving you was a crime, I’m still paying the price,” Holliday sings in her song’s final moments, in bittersweet recognition of how the most turbulent thoughts, memories, and feelings have a nasty habit of sticking around long past their welcome.
A raw rush of sound brought upon by a raw rush of emotion, “The Price” is a lush, cinematic fever dream: An evergreen reminder we’re never alone in what we’re feeling, and that it’s okay to let the past stay in the past.
I can see the shame in your eyes
After all of the push and pull
I’m still tethered to your line and
I’ve got a husband
You’ve got a wife
And the fault wasn’t mine, right?
The fault wasn’t mine
All at once, I’m met with my past
It’s like I’m looking at the bottom of a looking glass
All at once, I realize
It’s not a crime to love somebody
And let it die
(If it needs to die)
If loving you was a crime
I’m still paying the price
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Stream: “The Price” – Abby Holliday
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artwork © Grace Holliday
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