ROREY captures the beauty and burden of feeling everything on “Wish I Was Numb,” a dreamy, cathartic alt-pop confessional that dances through emotional overload with intimacy, honesty, and shimmering sonic light. Written during a mixed manic episode in the thick of the pandemic, the latest single off her sophomore EP ‘Dysphoria’ finds the 21-year-old cementing her place as one of New York City’s most captivating and confessional young voices.
Stream: “Wish I Was Numb” – ROREY
I wrote it at 2 AM in the middle of a mixed episode, feeling both manic and depressed without fully understanding why… It’s messy and emotional, because that’s what I was.
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There’s a special kind of ache that comes with feeling everything all at once – when every thought and sensation rushes in unchecked, overwhelming and exhilarating in equal measure.
ROREY’s “Wish I Was Numb” dwells in that feverish emotional overflow, wrapping its turbulence in a dreamy, shimmering alt-pop reverie. Glistening guitars and a bright, buoyant synth line radiate warmth, cushioning the weight of her words – “I feel too much… Wish I was numb…” – with something close to euphoria.
It’s the soundtrack to one soul’s existential crisis; the sound of catharsis in motion: Intimate, immersive, and, despite its aching core, surprisingly uplifting.
I mark my days
with empty conversations
I have with myself
It’s just a phase they say
but I stay lonely nothing ever helps
Affirmations self reflection
I’m still staring back at hell
My whole life is in slow motion
scared to death who can I tell
Atwood Magazine is proud to be premiering the music video for “Wish I Was Numb,” the second single off singer/songwriter ROREY’s upcoming sophomore EP Dysphoria (out August 15th via Killphonic Records). Co-produced by longtime friend and collaborator Scott Effman, the track captures the tension between emotional overload and emotional shutdown – the push and pull of wanting to do everything and nothing all at once. Written in the thick of the pandemic during a mixed manic episode, Dysphoria is the 21-year-old New York native’s most personal project yet, exploring mental health, identity, and survival through lush, hypnotic soundscapes and deeply confessional lyricism.
Mm mm mm, I feel too much
Mm mm mm, wish I was numb
Mm mm mm, I feel too much
Mm mm mm, wish I was numb
“My music is about relationships with ourselves and others. It’s about self-deviance, self-discovery, and being radically honest, even when it hurts,” ROREY tells Atwood Magazine. “I think I say out loud what some people are afraid to say. It keeps me going to know my songs help people get in touch with their emotions.”
Shaped by ROREY’s soft, soul-stirring singing alongside glistening guitars, airy synths, and a beat that sways between languid and propulsive, “Wish I Was Numb” is the sonic embodiment of internal contradiction. It’s equal parts bedroom confession and dancefloor release – a haze of melancholy threaded with dramatic, dynamic sparks of light.
The verses are sparse and intimate, her voice close enough to feel her breath, while the chorus blooms outward in a wash of shimmering sound, as though her private turmoil has burst into the open air. That push and pull – of retreat and release, whisper and cry – mirrors the very state she’s singing about, where emotions feel both too big to contain and too heavy to bear.
Lyrically, ROREY doesn’t flinch from that weight. She sings of “empty conversations I have with myself,” of treading water under covers and spiraling in the sheets, her images capturing a sense of restless stillness that’s as mental as it is physical. Yet for all its heaviness, the song resists collapse. Instead, it lifts, buoyed by bright melodies and a driving rhythm that refuses to let the sadness sit still. It’s a reminder that even in moments of emotional exhaustion, there can be movement, momentum, and even joy – not in spite of the ache, but because of it.
What’s my purpose always searching
just the surface that they see
Tearing myself half apart
it’s getting darker than it seems
Treading water under covers
downward spiral in these sheets
Sun is rising it’s so blinding
don’t know who I wanna be
The “Wish I Was Numb” music video adds extra dimension to the track’s emotional release, placing ROREY in various spaces across her beloved Manhattan.
She dances alone in an empty apartment with a sweeping view of the Empire State Building; she sings against a rain-streaked, floor-to-ceiling window as the grey city blurs behind her; she stands in the street in the pouring rain, hair plastered to her face, spinning, stomping, and throwing her body in time with the music. The more the song swells, the more she leans into physical movement as pure catharsis – an external projection of the feelings she can’t contain inside. It’s kinetic, unguarded, and deeply human, grounding the song’s emotional storm in her physical home of New York City.
Mm mm mm, I feel too much
Mm mm mm, wish I was numb
Mm mm mm, I feel too much
Mm mm mm, wish I was numb
“‘Wish I Was Numb’ was kind of an accident,” ROREY confesses. “I wrote it at 2 AM in the middle of a mixed episode, feeling both manic and depressed without fully understanding why. The first lyric that came out was, ‘I mark my days with empty conversations I have with myself.’ That moment shaped everything. Scott Effman and I leaned into the contrast, pairing an existential narrative with sonics that make you want to dance around in your room instead of cry. It’s messy and emotional, because that’s what I was. It’s not just a song; it’s a snapshot of my brain that night.”
That contrast is what makes “Wish I Was Numb” so striking: It’s music you can move to, even as it bears the weight of uncertainty, self-doubt, and mental fatigue. The hook’s simplicity – “I feel too much, wish I was numb” – feels universal, a mantra for anyone who’s ever been caught between wanting to care less and being unable to turn the feelings off.
ROREY’s sophomore EP Dysphoria arrives August 15th, promising more of this kind of breathtakingly beautiful, brutally honest, sonically intoxicating storytelling. Until then, let “Wish I Was Numb” pull you into its dazzling emotional spiral – a song to dance to, cry to, and maybe see yourself in, all at once.
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:: stream/purchase Dysphoria here ::
:: connect with ROREY here ::
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Stream: “Wish I Was Numb” – ROREY
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© Ebru Yildiz
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