James Crowley really wanted to review Justin Bieber’s ‘Changes,’ but it seems like maybe he didn’t listen to it?

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Let’s be real: Justin Bieber wasn’t going to top Purpose. Despite not being able to reach the same levels of excellence that his 2015 album produced, Bieber does have some great tracks on Changes and brings along some tremendous surprises.

Listen: ‘Changes’ – Justin Beiber

The biggest surprise has to be the Black Sabbath cover. While it should come as no surprise that Bieber is settling into domestic life after marrying Hailey Baldwin, breaking out a cover of an Ozzy-era Sabbath track and naming the album after it is bold. I’d dare say it was an interesting choice, and it pays off. [Editor’s Note: “Changes” is not a Black Sabbath cover. It’s an original song.]

Perhaps the album’s highlight though is the inclusion of a sample of Pete Davidson’s roast set from Bieber’s Comedy Central roast. Also, props for including the full thing in the bridge and taking out the bleeps. Bieber showed that he had a sense of humor about his own misgivings, but mostly included it as a way to really make important statements about how people are dealing with difficulties of everyday life. [Editor’s note: This album doesn’t feature any samples from Bieber’s Comedy Central roast.]

The album’s lowest point comes when Bieber tried to write a hardcore song with “Take It Out On Me.” Unfortunately, Bieber just doesn’t have the pipes to break out a scream. He also just rips off a Subzero instrumental. Canadian popstars should not try their hands at New York hardcore. The lyrics are also an undoing of any goodwill that Bieber may have gained from the apologetic Purpose.

Take it out on me
This song’s more important than you
I do what I want
Take it out on me

It’s harder to sympathize with this new version of Bieber. [Editor’s note: I’m not sure where James came up with this. There isn’t a hardcore punk song on the album.]

“Yummy” is perhaps the most disturbing song on the record. I don’t know why Bieber wrote an ode to vore-style pornography. I guess it’s just his fetish. Not that I’m trying to kink-shame, but Bieber still has a lot of young listeners. I knew what it was, but it was really surprising to know that Bieber not only was aware of it but is into it. Like I said, not trying to judge, but it is a little disturbing. [Editor’s note: This song isn’t about whatever James was talking about, and I’m upset that I decided to look it up and see what it was.]

[Editor’s Note: At this point in the review, it became apparent that James didn’t actually listen to Justin Bieber’s Changes, and we decided to cut it out. Why he volunteered to review it is beyond me, but I apologize to our loyal readers for patiently awaiting our Justin Bieber review. Unfortunately, it seems like this will end up being an album that we don’t really cover.]