Denver singer/songwriter Holly Lovell dwells in a state of haunting, hypnotic grief on “When Did I Lose You,” a soul-stirring indie folk song that aches with the endless bittersweet sting of heartache and longing.
for fans of Jodie Nicholson, Humbird, Lily Seabird
Stream: “When Did I Lose You” – Holly Lovell
When I listen to it, it’s the release of grief from the body.
Loss happens to us slowly at first, then all at once – and after that, it’s ever-present; a part of our daily existence that we simply have to learn to live with.
Like a runaway train, we often don’t realize what’s happening until it’s too late – and by the time we do comprehend the situation, we’re helpless to do anything to stop it from taking its course and running right off the tracks. Some may read these words and think back to a friendship that splintered, when it could have been saved; others may relate it to an ex whose “irreconcilable differences” may not have been so irreconcilable after all, had they only communicated more openly – and sooner. For Colorado singer/songwriter Holly Lovell, it’s the poignant story of her mother and her uncle, her mother’s brother, who drifted away until he was gone forever. Her haunting, hypnotic new single “When Did I Lose You” aches with the endless sting of heartache and longing as she dwells in hypnotic grief, letting the raw pain of loss consume her mind, body, and spirit.
You hurt me worse
than anyone I’ve ever known
Tell me did you mean it,
were you acting on your own
When did I lose you?
Was it something that I said,
did you change your mind
You never made it clear,
you just fade out of my life
When did I lose you?
Atwood Magazine is proud to be premiering “When Did I Lose You,” the third single taken off Holly Lovell’s forthcoming debut album, Hello Chelsea (independently out February 7, 2025). Produced in Eau Claire, WI with Brian Joseph (Bon Iver), the album sees the Denver-based singer/songwriter expanding her indie folk sound while staying true to the honest storytelling and emotionally charged songwriting that has defined her career for the past decade.
Lovell describes Hello Chelsea as a record about addiction, grief, family history, healing, and New York City. “If you want to look a little deeper than that, this album started on the morning of my 28th birthday after returning from a trip to Chelsea, NYC to find my missing uncle,” she explains.
More atmospheric and ethereal than anything that came before it, “When Did I Lose You” follows recently released singles “Louis & Me” and “Lion’s Den,” and finds Lovell diving headfirst into the wreckage of intimate emotional devastation. Her vivid lyrics paint a picture of anguish and regret – the kind of distress that never fully heals, and never truly resolves:
You pretend nothing’s wrong, if it is it’s my fault
Don’t pretend you don’t know,
I’ve been here all along
I’ve been calling your name from the rooftop
And I never heard a thing from you
Oo-ah oo-ah
When did I lose you
Oo-ah oo-ah
When did I lose you
Oo-ah oo-ah
When did I lose you
Oo-ah oo-ah
“This song is about losing someone little by little, so slowly that by the time you wake up to it you can’t quite figure out how long you’ve been sitting there alone,” Lovell tells Atwood Magazine. “In a more specific sense, I wrote this song about my mom and her brother. He slipped away from her – first in addiction, then in shame, and then in death. Her biggest heartbreak has always been that slow confusing disintegration, and I wanted to give voice to that.”
“I’ve had this song in my back pocket a long time, re-worked it various different ways, never quite able to find its proper pacing. It’s such a departure from my normal acoustic-guitar-songwriter world, and it needed the right musicians to take it there. Brian Joseph (Bon Iver), who produced the whole record, knew just what to do with it. There was never a question. Shane Leonard created the perfect drum landscape for everything to come alive, and the bass, played by Steve Garrington, is so melodic. It’s an entirely live take ,and you can really feel that energy, I think.”
“We had Dave Welsh from The Fray mix it, and his sensibilities were perfect for this particular one. In this song we experimented with chaos and confusion of relationship disintegration. There is a breakdown at the end where we literally recorded ourselves wailing and screaming. I was worried it was too much at first, but in the end I chose to keep it, because when I listen to it, it’s the release of grief from the body.”
It is the hardest thing to feel you fade away
Sitting right beside me but somethings in the way
When did I lose you, when did I lose you
You are a blend of both the best thing and the worst
I’d do anything for you, that’s always been my curse
When did I lose you, when did I lose you
You pretend nothing’s wrong, if it is it’s my fault
Don’t pretend you don’t know, I’ve been here all along
I’ve been calling your name from the rooftop
And you never heard a thing did you
Oo-ah
When did I lose you
Oo-ah oo-ah
When did I lose you
Oo-ah oo-ah
Loss inevitably hits all of us in slightly different ways, but it’s safe to say that Holly Lovell’s songwriting captures the universal ache left in its wake.
Grief is the friend you never asked for; a shadow that never fades from view. “When Did I Lose You” is the bare, unfiltered, unflinchingly honest and raw recognition of that grief – a face-to-face confrontation and a cathartic, painful acceptance of this truth, of this new normal that the narrator will live with from here on out.
Stream “When Did I Lose You” exclusively on Atwood Magazine, and let Holly Lovell’s spellbinding, soul-stirring music engulf your ears, your heart, and your spirit.
I can’t forgive you for that
But I’ll always take you back
When did I lose you
Oo-ah oo-ah
When did I lose you
Oo-ah oo-ah
— —
:: stream/purchase When Did I Lose You here ::
:: connect with Holly Lovell here ::
— —
Stream: “When Did I Lose You” – Holly Lovell
— — — —
Connect to Holly Lovell on
Facebook, TikTok, Instagram
Discover new music on Atwood Magazine
© Eric Yochim
© Eric Yochim:: Stream Holly Lovell ::
