New York pop singer/songwriter Kisos captures acceptance’s visceral weight in his raw song and video “He Didn’t Want Me,” a poignant outpouring.
Stream: “He Didn’t Want Me” – Kisos
Acceptance, the final stage of grief, comes in many shapes and forms. It manifests itself differently for everyone, yet no matter how you ultimately find it (or it finds you), there’s no denying its gravity, its depth, and the unavoidably long road it takes to reach that moment of welcome catharsis and inner reckoning. New York pop singer/songwriter Kisos captures acceptance’s visceral weight in his raw song and video “He Didn’t Want Me,” a poignant outpouring of emotion and soul-stirring feeling.
If he wanted me, he would’ve told me
If he loved me, he would’ve shown me more
If he wanted me, he would’ve wanted me to be happy
Wouldn’t always have to be
asking for a moment of his time
I forced something that wasn’t there
Ignored the signs you didn’t care
Cuz when you kissed me I believed it
Until you met me at the park
Looked in my eyes blew out the spark
Admitted that you’d never feel it
Atwood Magazine is proud to be premiering Kisos’ self-directed music video “He Didn’t Want Me,” shot by Adam Ouellette and produced by Kisos & Jo Lee. Originally released in June 2020, “He Didn’t Want Me” is the final track off Kisos’ sweet nothings EP (released via the artist’s own Miller Place).
Originally hailing from the Bay Area, Kisos debuted with his fervent 2016 single “Symmetry” and has not looked back since. The past five years have seen him grow as a singer, songwriter, and producer as he expanded and honed in on his sound; sweet nothings followed 2018’s debut EP Voices, and found Kisos unveiling himself through five upheavals of feeling, charismatic energy, and pure unadulterated drive.
He sings with pain and passion, but also with conviction:
If he wanted me, he would’ve told me
If he loved me, he would’ve shown me more
If he wanted me, he would’ve wanted me to be happy
Wouldn’t always have to be asking for a moment of his time
I asked everyone helplessly what didn’t he see in me
How could he move on so quickly
They said, “Our words of wisdom ain’t that deep
Honestly, he didn’t seem to care enough to keep on trying”
If he wanted me, he would’ve told me
If he loved me, he would’ve shown me more
If he wanted me, he would’ve wanted me to be happy
Wouldn’t always have to be asking for a moment of his time
“Heartbreak infected me. Three years post-breakup I still mourned this relationship, friendship, and love on a daily basis,” Kisos tells Atwood Magazine. “‘He Didn’t Want Me’ is about the acceptance stage of grief, and because it’s lyrically so depressing, I wanted to balance that with an uplifting, ethereal ritual of rebirth. It was important for me to also honor the symbolic hands of friends and family who cared for me at my lowest points. People who helped me shed my self-hatred, allow love and beauty back in, and re-internalize that I am worthy.”
“My roommate Adam Ouellette is an expert cinematographer, and we filmed it over the course of two nights, lighting a hundred candles and using the bedroom of another roommate who has eclectic decoration taste to say the least.”
For Kisos, “He Didn’t Want Me” isn’t about dwelling in the depths of despair that wreck a mind and soul; it’s about overcoming these roadblocks and finding your inner light. His music video is an intentional vivid act of renewal.
Reflect on the simple truth
We fight for those who we love no excuse
But for two years I healed my heart alone
I gave you my soul my bones my eternal hope cuz I
Felt the future we won’t know
I wanted to build a life with you
Be the first one you’d take home
If he wanted me, he would’ve told me
If he loved me, he would’ve shown me more
If he wanted me, he would’ve wanted me to be happy
Wouldn’t always have to be asking for a moment of his time
There is no separating acceptance from the grief at its root, but when listening to or watching Kisos’ latest release, it’s a feeling of passion and overcoming, rather than sadness or pain, that proliferates the senses. “He Didn’t Want Me” leaves us rejuvenated, and it is with this head held high that Kisos, and we too, can stride confidently into 2021.
Watch “He Didn’t Want Me” exclusively on Atwood Magazine!
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Stream: “He Didn’t Want Me” – Kisos
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? © Laura Harding video stills © cinematographer Adam Ouellette EP art © Kisos
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