Singer/songwriter Caitlyn Smith flexes her independent muscles with her second independent single “Mother of Three,” a reckoning of whether to stay or go.
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Stream: “Mother of Three” – Caitlyn Smith
Deeply vulnerable, unapologetically honest, tragically bittersweet, are all words that could describe country singer/songwriter Caitlyn Smith’s new single, “Mother of Three.” Smith dives deep into the relentlessness struggle that is to be working artist and a human.
“I drink so much coffee that my hands are shaking; my mind’s doing cartwheels and just keeps replaying; the script that I’ve written, damn good piece of fiction; but it’s killing my dreams and it’s clouding my vision,” Smith sings over a thick, strumming guitar, which keeps us company till the end. The picture she conjures could be anyone’s life but in this song it’s hers; the voice of her three children in the background.
Smith co-wrote and co-produced “Mother of Three” with Sam Ellis, and I like to imagine it was written and recorded in Smith’s living room with her three boys running loose, and Smith pinning down vocal takes amongst the beautiful chaos. A melancholy string section sneaks in verse two, it hums in the background but like a true Caitlyn Smith it swells and soars with Smith’s vocals, giving the song that longing and bittersweetness that life often brings.
I drink so much coffee that my hands are shaking
My mind’s doing cartwheels and just keeps replaying
The script that I’ve written, damn good piece of fiction
But it’s killing my dreams and it’s clouding my vision
I don’t take a breath and I don’t take vacation
‘Cause I’m too afraid I might lose my place in line
But I’ve tried it your way and I’m paying the price
With my sanity and my family
“Mother of Three” continues the story of “Static,” a push/pull of wanting to give up and leave it all behind with wanting to keep on going or Smith says, “continuing to push this boulder up the hill.” “Static” had elements of specificity but it could be about anything and every one of us, “Mother of Three” is a gut punch. a feeling I’m sure Smith felt when singing the words out loud. If you’ve ever wanted something too much but it always slips from your fingers, then you know what Smith is talking about, because you’ve also said those words, even if only in your head or dreams.
It’s time that I let you go
You took all you could from me
Up there in my head, living rent-free
With the devil and all his company
And I ain’t got time for that, no
Go ahead, now let me be
I got bills to pay
I got mouths to feed
I got dreams to chase
I’m a mother of three
Smith writes well as the underdog. She wrote the song “This Town is Killing Me” about working in Nashville. She’s written “House of Cards” about struggling to just be. She knows too well what it’s like climbing to the top to just knocked off again.
I don’t take a breath and I don’t take vacation
‘Cause I’m too afraid, I might lose my place in line
But I’ve tried it your way and I’m paying the price
With my sanity and my family
Smith has written for the biggest names in country (Dolly Parton, Garth Brookes, Lady A) and pop (Miley Cyrus, Fletcher, Meghan Trainor), has released critically acclaimed albums, Starfire, Supernova and High & Low, produces her own music, writes her own songs and plays her own instruments, and has a voice that rivals some of the most successful singers of the last 50 years. Smith is the very real deal, so why don’t we all know her name?
And I water down my soul
and I dumb down my lyrics
Get burned by the light
every time I get near it
The music industry has always been a fickle monster, but with the emphasis on streaming algorithms, TikTok stars, and a rush to have the next big hit as fast as possible. it has only gotten more impossible to please the big machine. Rather than building careers to last a lifetime, the industry wants success but without the investment in their artists.
I have the comfort of not having to fight this fight, but Smith does not have this privilege. She keeps pushing that boulder up that hill. If there was a record to sum up the complex and contradicting emotions of a working artist in the current environment, then Smith’s “Mother of Three” would be it.
It’s time that I let you go
You took all you could from me
Up there in my head, living rent-free
With the devil and all his company
And I ain’t got time for that, no
Go ahead now, let me be
I got bills to pay,
I got mouths to feed
I got songs to write,
I’m a mother of three
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Stream: “Mother of Three” – Caitlyn Smith
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© Rob Morgan
© Rob Morgan
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