Throughout the year, Atwood Magazine invites members of the music industry to participate in a series of essays reflecting on art, identity, culture, inclusion, and more.

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Today, Matt O’Connor (of Worry Bead Records and the band Tuxis Giant) offers a special, intimate essay on magic, vulnerability, and the radical courage of trans youth, to accompany the ‘True Names’ benefit compilation for the Trans Youth Emergency Project!

Matt O’Connor runs Worry Bead Records, a family-run, community-oriented DIY label based in Queens, NY, with their partner, Jenny Ruenes. A benefit compilation to raise funds for the Trans Youth Emergency Project, ‘True Names’ brings artists like Remember Sports, Squirrel Flower, 2nd Grade, and Pink Navel together.

“The title, ‘True Names,’ was inspired by Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea series,” O’Connor explains. “In the world of Earthsea, True Names are sacred, holding incredible and transformative power. To know your True Name is to know yourself. And to share your True Name is an extreme act of vulnerability and courage. States across the country are targeting trans youth by restricting their access to life-affirming care. With this comp, we’re raising funds for the Trans Youth Emergency Project, which helps families of trans youth find healthcare providers, travel to appointments, and pay for medication. ‘True Names’ was a big team effort. The songs – all unreleased b-sides, demos, and live cuts – were collected from our music communities in Boston, New York, Philly and beyond. With this comp, we hope to do our part in supporting TYEP’s important work.”

‘True Names’ is out May 2nd via Worry Bead Records. O’Connor’s band, Tuxis Giant, is also releasing an album via Worry Bead this August.

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SHARING YOUR TRUE NAME

by Matt O’Connor

I’ve been on a big fantasy kick lately.

It’s taken me through Tolkien, Gene Wolfe, Kelly Link. Real heady stuff. But, in all my reading, there’s one author who stands above the rest: Ursula K. Le Guin.

My first Le Guin was The Left Hand of Darkness, a sci-fi opus set in a world of genderfluid aliens. The main character—a human envoy visiting this world—is confused for most of the book. We are, too. But Le Guin guides us with a gentle hand, asking we embrace our outsider status and watch carefully over the envoy’s shoulder. We learn the folklore, feel the political tension, and then, eventually, make some sense of it all.

I read The Left Hand of Darkness a few years ago, around the time I came out as trans. The realization came after years of confusion. It took love, work, and therapy to move through the unknown and—like Le Guin’s envoy—finally see things clearly.

It’s hard to overstate the threat our government poses to trans people right now. America’s right-wing regime has us in their crosshairs in what amounts to a fascist cliché: Scapegoat scapegoat scapegoat. One of the president’s first executive orders this term rebukes the very concept of “gender ideology,” enforcing a rigid binary in the name of “defending women.” The transcript is so idiotic, it might’ve been written by J.K. Rowling.

Jabs aside, I’m scared. So are my friends. But as scared as I am, I can’t imagine how a trans kid feels. As if bathrooms and passports weren’t enough, state governments have begun stripping protections from trans people, increasing their risk of harm in an already-perilous world. And hospitals—even here, in New York City— have ended gender-affirming care for patients under 18. They’re going after our most vulnerable.

That’s why my label, Worry Bead Records, is releasing the True Names charity comp, which will raise funds for the Trans Youth Emergency Project. The TYEP helps trans kids access healthcare, pay for medication, and travel to appointments. So many friends showed up to donate a song, provide artwork, and spread the word. I can’t thank them enough. I hope you, dear reader, decide to buy the comp and support TYEP in their important work.

Now, if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to tell you about Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea series. They’re the kind of books I wish I read as a kid: episodic fantasy stories where the magic is subtle and the dragons are wise. There are no bloody wars waged between good and evil. The battles fought are within oneself.

True Names in Earthsea represent your core identity; the sacred place no one else can touch. To know your True Name is to know yourself. And to share your True Name is an act of radical vulnerability.

And courage. Real courage. – Matt O’Connor

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:: purchase True Names here ::

:: learn about the Trans Youth Emergency Project here ::

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True Names

A Benefit for Trans Youth