With his soul exposed and his heart on his sleeve, NYC artist-to-watch denn. holds nothing back in the cathartic and emotionally charged “think.” – a visceral, vulnerable, and achingly intimate song reckoning with dysphoria and depersonalization.
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Stream: “think.” – denn.
Can’t even fathom all the ego that I’m building. My parents hate my guts, my friends, my life is ending…
What do we do when we’re at our wits’ end? What happens when the tension inside us reaches its boiling point?
Everything spills out of us all at once.
What’s the point? Why do I lie?
Why do I cry, cry, cry, cry
Just like him, I wanna be
Close, close, close…
Do you think about me daily?
(Do you, do you)
Do you call me by my name
or scream out baby? Baby?
(Do you, do you)
New York City’s denn. candidly calls his latest song a “poignant last stand,” and it’s hard to think of a better or more fitting description for what is clearly an eruption from his own tender, innermost depths. Cathartic and strained, intimate and impassioned, the emotionally charged “think.” is a visceral, vulnerable inner reckoning: The up-and-coming artist-to-watch holds nothing back in spilling his heavy heart and soul in song, caught between the need to please others and an intense desire to define his own self-worth.
This is the confession of someone caught in pressure’s crosshairs, and the ultimate question he comes away with is: Who is all this for?
I’ve been losing everything
that I believe in while perceiving
That I hate my guts, I hate my life
I wish you left me bleeding
While you’re leaving, I’m just weeping
Wishing that I was needed
I just tried to kill myself
but respawned before deletion
Can’t even fathom
all the ego that I’m building
My parents hate my guts,
my friends, my life is ending
I’ve been smoking way too many cigarettes
I don’t got that many friends
I don’t have many regrets
But every day, baby got you in my head
When about a month ago
we were f*ing in my bed like
Released April 11, 2024 via Cecil Park Records, “think.” is the first song of the year from self-produced singer/songwriter denn. (pronounced “den dot”). The new single follows 2023’s releases “rottenteeth,” “it’s happening?” and “uh uh uh uh UH?” – tracks that enshrined denn.’s status as one of Atwood Magazine‘s artists-to-watch, with us praising “both his unapologetic attitude and his creative, fresh approach to songwriting.”
Most (read: all) of denn.’s songs have, to date, engaged around what he calls a “life altering heartbreak,” around which a supposed forthcoming debut album is centered. “think.” does and doesn’t deviate from the pack, in that while denn. makes mention of a former relationship (“Every day, baby got you in my head, when about a month ago we were f*ing in my bed…“), neither that relationship nor his ex is the focal point of the song; rather, they are additional bullet points in a longer list of people denn. references (which includes family and friends) and examples he uses to explore his fragile mental and emotional state.
With a high-pitched interpolation of The Carpenters’ 1970 hit single “(They Long to Be) Close to You” as its base, “think.” features denn.’s sweet, radiant whisper-like voice front and center: Like he did in both “it’s happening?” and “uh uh uh uh UH?” he sings hot-on-the-mic here, switching between moments of high-energy urgency and softer, more laid-back (but nonetheless emotional) self-expression. With lush keyboards, ukulele, bass, and drums coming to life all around him, denn. dwells gracefully in his own depths, creating an enchanting, all-consuming experience that is sure to arouse even the most casual listener’s attention.
Do you think about me daily?
(Do you, do you)
Do you call me by my name
or scream out baby? Baby
(Do you, do you)
I’ve been so damn tied up
After you stole my life now you’re just
Living it up, living it up, living it up
I’m so damn tired
You took my pride and now you’re just
Living it up, living it up, living it up
“‘think.’ is about what feelings of depersonalization and dysphoria mean to me,” denn. tells Atwood Magazine, “and how it feels to not like yourself when you feel everyone is counting on you mos tand wondering if anyone even gives a f* about all that anyways. “I wrote ‘think.’ as a poignant last stand arising from dysphoria and depersonalization, driven by the pursuit of self-worth independent of external validation.”
While it takes a few listens to fully appreciate the depth and gravity of this song, it’s easy to grasp where denn. is coming from: “I’ve been losing everything that I believe in,” he sings in the track’s churning refrain, his soul-stirring words hot and slurred but not imperceptible. This is his confession: Everything is not how he meant it to be. He is off-balance, inside and out, “while perceiving that I hate my guts, I hate my life I wish you left me bleeding… Wishing that I was needed… I’ve been smoking way too many cigarettes… I don’t got that many friends, I don’t have many regrets…“
I’ve been losing everything
that I believe in while perceiving
That I hate my guts I hate my life
I wish you left me bleeding
While you’re leaving
I’m just weeping
Wishing that I was needed
I just tried to kill myself
but respawned before deletion
We can’t heal or help ourselves if we don’t know what’s causing us problems, so consider “think.” denn.’s very own establishing shot:
Through this exposition-heavy internal monologue, the artist synthesizes all that’s causing him grief. He doesn’t offer much, if anything, in the way of solutions; that’s not necessarily the point at this time – though one could argue that, by simply singing them all into existence, denn. is already allowing himself some kind of catharsis and emotional release.
Can’t even fathom
all the ego that I’m building
My parents hate my guts,
my friends, my life is ending
I’ve been smoking way too many cigarettes
I don’t got that many friends
I don’t have many regrets
But everyday baby got you in my head
When about a month ago
we were f*ing in my bed like…
Swapping between these raw, dramatic emotional outpourings and their gentler counterparts, denn. creates a compelling musical push-and-pull that mirrors the ways we often think and feel as well. His unease is exhilarating, and his aching feels honest, authentic, and immediate. “think.” inevitably sends shivers down the spine as denn. once again lays his soul bare in song, leaving his listeners moved, inspired, and eager for more from the talented New Yorker.
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Stream: “think.” – denn.
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© Emma Pilkington Mead
© Emma Pilkington Mead
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