A buoyant and bittersweet folk-pop upheaval from a tender, brooding heart, ISHAN’s “Apologies” aches with raw emotion and vulnerability as the Melbourne singer/songwriter delivers an intimate, catchy ode full of love, longing, and regret.
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Stream: “Apologies” – ISHAN
I used to struggle to accept that you would push and I would pull and that was only bad…
Apologies aren’t usually quite this upbeat and catchy, but then again, one of the beautiful qualities of music is that a song can be so many things all at once – and ISHAN’s new single is nothing, if not multifaceted. A buoyant and bittersweet folk-pop upheaval from a tender, brooding heart, “Apologies” aches with raw emotion and vulnerability as one of Melbourne’s brightest newcomers delivers an intimate ode full of love, longing, and regret.
I used to struggle to believe you
You’d say that I was on your mind,
and I’d be thinking about
How all the good things couldn’t be true
Yeah I could love you, but you couldn’t love me too
And I’m sorry now, head was filled with doubts
That I wrote about, and now I sing ’em out loud
Yeah I was afraid, but I never should have made
That mistake
Independently released February 9, 2023, “Apologies” is ISHAN’s first song of the year and his fifth overall career single, arriving a little more than half a year since the Melbourne, Australia-based 19-year-old first introduced his artistry. With a sweet folk-influenced pop sound and a candid storytelling voice, ISHAN’s music is reminiscent of a younger Ed Sheeran and Shawn Mendes. Songwriting is his preferred mode of self-expression, and in each of his releases we feel a weight lifted, a stone turned over, and a piece of raw humanity exposed and explored.
“Apologies” is a particularly raw reckoning for ISHAN, finding him confronting his own actions and, as the song title suggests, pleading forgiveness from a loved one. His chorus is both an emotional climax and a moment of truth, all channeled through enchanting, emotive vocals and irresistible melodies:
I trust you completely, darling
Yeah I know I was to blame
I should’ve been stronger, darling
I’m sorry I was afraid, this is how apologies are made
I’m sorry I was afraid
For ISHAN, “Apologies” and his most recent single, “If I Had No Song,” come from some important lessons learned the hard way.
“I have a habit of over thinking things,” he tells Atwood Magazine. “Back when I was 16, I wrote a song about a girl that I had a big crush on. I played it to her and, after a classic ‘awkward teenager’ game of let’s both pretend we’re not into each other, we started going out. It was a great relationship but as often happens, my head would sometimes get in the way of something otherwise entirely positive. 17 years old now, and about six months into to the coolest adventure of my life up until that point (previously there was a lot more PlayStation), I’d started mulling over the idea that she might only have been interested in me because I could sing. Even then I knew deep down this was not true, and one might argue that despite my tendency to catastrophize, entertaining the idea that my best friend at the time might be so shallow was, incredibly mistrusting on my part. Regardless, I went down the spiraling rabbit hole, knowing my only escape was to write a song that might carry the burden of such intense thinking and questioning so that I could move on. Relying on songwriting as a coping mechanism for intense emotion has its perks. The result of this particular spiral – titled ‘If I Had No Song’ – released in March.”
“However, the story does not end here. I played ‘If I Had No Song’ to my girlfriend and while she knew there was no truth to the song, the fact that the question of her integrity and honesty had been on my mind certainly didn’t brighten her day. Feeling awful about my lack of faith in her, however fleeting and inconsequential, I wrote a second song – after apologizing to her for the first. This second song wasn’t really for her benefit, once again the writing was a way to process my own feelings. This song, titled ‘Apologies,’ talks about how mistrusting I’d been of her genuine affection. “I could love you, but you couldn’t love me too.” It also acknowledges the hurt I might have caused her by singing ‘If I Had No Song’ on stage. ‘And I’m sorry now, head was filled with doubts, that I wrote about, and now I sing ‘em out loud.'”
“Most of my songs start with a piece of truth and then through creative embellishment, become a much different story to how they started. ‘Apologies’ was augmented exclusively in the last throwaway line of the chorus, “I’m sorry I was afraid, this is how apologies are made.” Unsatisfied with the idea of singing a song that was 2:32 of saying sorry, the last line changes the context of the entire track from a one-sided apology to a conflict where both parties share the blame (obviously not a real life reflection of the genesis of the song). One side of the argument (which I represent) puts their hand up and says, ‘Ok, here are all the things I’ve done wrong, now it’s your turn to do the same.’”
I used to struggle to accept that
That you would push and I would pull
and that was only bad
If I made it so, well I made it so
And I’m sorry now, head was filled with doubts
That I wrote about, and now I sing em out loud
Yeah I was afraid, but I never should have made
That mistake
It’s easy to get lost in the warmth, bounce, and brighter sounds of “Apologies,” but at its heart, this song aches.
ISHAN spills his heart onto the page and into his performance, delivering an emotional, tender, and heartrending apology that seamlessly balances the catchy with the cathartic. As sincere as it is stirring, “Apologies” is one song we won’t be sorry to spin on repeat!
I trust you completely, darling
Yeah I know I was to blame
I should’ve been stronger, darling
I’m sorry I was afraid, this is how apologies are made
I’m sorry I was afraid
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Stream: “Apologies” – ISHAN
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© Marcello Anthony
© Marcello Anthony
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